Most Bizarre Behavior Over The Board?

The chess circuit has no shortage of eccentric moments and odd behavior. I have been fairly fortunate and have only had a few incidents. One time before a game when I extended my hand and said "good luck" this old man waved my hand away and said, "there is no such thing as luck." Yes, A-hole stories count too! Another time this dude kept muttering to himself about Bobby Fischer as he played his moves. Thankfully, he also muttered the analysis of the moves he was considering so he was extremely predictable. Got a story to share?

I sort of understand the old guy's attitude - The "good luck" thing might be seen as a psychological ploy - also forcing someone to shake hands with you.  Like when you're playing someone 150 pts higher than you and they start the game by saying "Good luck"

just someone super, super high.. non-rated, he whooped me. I was too distracted by his laughing and olive sized eyes I dropped a piece.

Waving someone's hand away and saying there is no such thing as luck is kind of rude. Shaking hands is a traditional sign of respect before the starts and is actually part of the international rules.

I do find the phrase "good luck" to be somewhat strange. Does anybody here actually wish good luck for their opponent? I always say "good game" instead of "good luck".

What if you extend your hand and say, "Hope you don't win".  That would be more honest.

I don't know why this got my attention - even the shaking hands thing seems  contrived.  Its even weird at the start of football  where opposing players are forced to shake hands by the refereree right before they spend the next three hours trying to beat the stuffing out of each other.  The end of the game seems like the more natural time for reconciliation - thats when opposing players generally get together of their own accord (speaking of football anyway.)

There was this one guy, obviously with OCD, who continually was "washing his hands" in thin air, rotating them inside-outside of each other as if under a faucet. That was an experience.

Then there was this guy with sinus issues who would reliably and with velocity take in and let out huge packets of air through his nostrils, about 3-5 times at a shot, and he'd do this once every minute or two--and there was another guy who would snort in every five minutes or so and then his sinuses would give a little squeak. I always hoped the two would be paired together but I don't think that ever happened.

In my very first tournament, I was in registered in the beginner's group and was progressing rather nicely with 4 wins and one loss. After having won my 4th game, I wandered over to the pairing sheet to see who I might be playing in the final round. I noticed that one other player had a 4-0 score and was still playing her game. So I went over to watch what was happening. The young lady, impeccably dressed, was clearly in a losing position, so I figured I'd be paired against her the following week. Within a few minutes, she realized that her position was completely hopeless, so with a few quick swoops of her hand, she swept most of the pieces off the board, got up and left the table without a word to her opponent.

The following week I was looking forward to playing against Miss Hellfire, and I was indeed paired with her. To my utter disappointment, she never showed up, and I was given the bye and the section trophy. I would, of course, have preferred to have played against this ill-mannered brat.

I've actually been the perpetrator of bizarre behaviour on a number of occasions. If I deem it to be an important game and I think I'm winning then my legs start trembling, the vibration transfers to the table and it's not long before I get a complaint (three boards to a long canteen-type table, sometimes). I try not to distract my opponent but it's not always possible. On a couple of occasions, after a repeat incident, the TD has become involved and wants to know all about it. Even from promosing positions, I never seem to win these games.

in scholastic tournaments i played against this 10-year old who would sometimes analyze out loud. two weeks ago, after i played move move, he proceeded to tell me what my plan was.

Hmm... I've got a few-

In a tournament a month or two back, I was in a last-round game, needing a win. I was paired with a slightly younger kid, around 14-15. Game began, went on, after some time I achieved a winning position - up a minor and a pawn, or some such advantage where he had nothing to show for it - and suddenly, the kids stands up, moves into the aisle next to our board, and starts doing pushups! It was slightly put-offish, but I managed to win the game anyway. He would do his pushups every few moves after I got the position, mind you. I considered asking the TD about this, but it wasn't disturbing any other games, so I let it be.

My other novel experience was with one of my old coaches, now my co-coach(I volunteered to teach the beginners class, even though my rating is higher... ah well =).) Anyway, I was playing in a tournament where he was the top seed in the U1500 section. He's one of those players who trades everything off into the Endgame as fast as can be, and since I like the simplicity and difficulty of the Endgame quagmire, I figure I'll play along. We get down to 2 knights each, and I have a one pawn advantage, as well as a more centralized King. I start to really outplay him and win another pawn, so he gets visibly mad. He slowly gets up, and storms out of the room. My father, in the next room over, saw him angrily throwing his arms up and down, and stomping along the hallway! I just sit at the board, waiting for him to come back... When he does, I manage to force a pawn queening, and he resigns. I offer my hand for the customary handshake, and after hesitating for about 5 seconds, he grabs it, squeezes a bit, and lets go as though I'm on fire.

Well, there's a few of my gems, hope you enjoyed them!

At one of my tournaments i couldn't shake hands at the end of the game because the man had no hands.  He had no arms.  He moved his pieces with a coathanger contraption using his teeth.  At first i felt sorry for him.  Then as he began asserting a winning position i got more and more annoyed.  At the end of the game (which i lost) i felt like wrapping the coathanger around his neck.

At another tournament i played in a hotel room, my opponent was wearing heavy gloves which he did not take off, despite the fact that the room was very warm.  Every time he would make a move he would jump up and disappear into another room.  Then he would reappear, make his move, and go again.  After a while i realized he was playing in several sections simultaneously.  It must have cost him quite a lot in both money and energy.  Inever did find out why he wore gloves.  Maybe he was a germaphobe, who knows.

What an awful thing to want to do to an unarmed man. 

At the NJ State Tourny at Rutgers last year, I was playing JV first chair (i was a freshman) and some booster kid (individual) got really mad at a game, picked up his clock, and chucked it as hard as he could. It would have been really funny had a 9 year old gotten hit in the head and had to be taken to the nearest medical center. Some security guards had to come in and tase him, but it didn't work, so they shot him with a tranquilizer. Anyway, that's my story. :)

There was a guy having a sandwich whilst playing me, and a bit of mayo dropped on the board, and he leaned over and licked the board. I almost gave up chess for 2 weeks. But i cant because i am addicted like ivanchuk 8)

Is there a missing portion to this story, where the clock-thrower goes beserk and has to be subdued for the safety of all around him, or are we just to assume that security guards at chess tournaments are so bored by inaction they won't pass up any excuse to whip out their violent toys?

I once was paired with a blind guy, no legs, and there was something wrong with his hands that made it hard to move the pieces.  He had a blind person's board with raised light squares, each square had a hole in the middle and each piece a metal peg coming out of the bottom to put it into.  Because he sometimes used his hands to recall the position you were allowed to set up your own board beside his.

The thing is he would get chatty when it was my move, he'd tell me about when he used to be able to see or about the pain medication he was taking.  Because he would always do this the TD sat him at his own table on the other side of the room.  So when it was his move I just did the same thing and would re-start the conversation while he was thinking  .  Then he had to use the bathroom a few times when he was low on time -- obviously a blind player could keep analyzing as if he was still at the board, but the TD allowed him to stop his clock for the breaks.

For whatever reason none of it bothered me and I was able to treat it just like any other game.  I was just glad I didn't get paired with the 11 yr old scholastic kid who would suddenly stand after every other move, always slapped the clock hard, and would adjust pieces (and offer draws) during his opponent's turn -- I couldn't decide if I would just deal with it or complain to the TD about 10 times to settle the kid down.

well, luckily I dont have a story like this, but these are interesting!

I forgot to include these two very bizarre incidents: Once my opponent after losing let out a shrieking, "noooooo!" as he started pounding his fists behind him into the booth at the restaurant we were playing at. Then he started slapping himself in the face as punishment (He was close to making Master and so he was extra emotional about the loss.) Another time after losing another guy got so mad he kicked the glass door of the sub shop we were playing at and the glass shattered into tiny bits onto the floor.

I have no personal experiences to share but I suppose a friend's is good enough as a thanks to be able to read all yours. My friend is a former chess NM the story on how he lost his title and was banned from the USCF is as follows: He was once in an open tournament and the top seeds at the tourney were 4 NM's including himself and 1 WGM and 1 GM. Everyone wanted the oportunity to play the GM who was the highest rated person there but it was a knockout tournament and he was paired in the pre second-to-last round with the WGM, who was admitedly stronger than he was. HE REALLY wantd a chance to play the GM so in order to win he attempted some psycilogical tactics. In the game against the WGM he did not look at the board at all! He simply played while looking off into the distance as if he was bored. He would get up alot and look around, yawn and fake he was sleeping. After a while the tactics seemed to be taking their effect and the WGM in addition to looking highly annoyed had a worse position. My friend kept the "detatched" attitude and at one point the WGM got so annoyed she asked him what his problem was. He in his childish attitude responded "I don't need to use my brain to beat a woman so just make your move or resign already" and that comment was the straw that broke the cammel's back, he was not known to be a good sportsman and already had quite a few misdeameaners on record in the USCF. So that comment cost him the tournament his title and he was banned from the USCF forever.