MY CHESS SUCKS!!

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JBades6310

Make sure to eat a lot of broccoli, you're prob not getting enough fiber in your diet. Do 15 pushups when you wake up every morning, and when you go to sleep drink some warm milk. In terms of chess specifically, make sure you don't wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Try to find love in your life and accidentally eat hash brownies to gain inspiration and creativity. Once you've accomplished this routine, try sitting at the chess board for several hours without moving the pieces. Try to imagine yourself in a cave with paintings on the wall and relish it in all its beauty. This should set your mind straight when you actually decide to play the game. But don't actually play it, it's just an exercise in zen. Have your father come to your school play, but have him ruin it halfway through by running on stage and making a fool of himself. That'll give you the confidence to be a better man because the bar will be set so low. From there, the rest should be easy: open up a dairy farm and use the muenster cheese to invent a new game called "Muenster Chess." Then become a grand master in muenster chess by making the game so complicated and convoluted that only you yourself could possibly understand the game.

Let me know if you need any more help.

WeisseSchachlade

I suck even worrrrse.

I hasn't played online in like FUREVER.  The last game I started I furgot about and lost on time.

So I've just been purrrracticing with my new SUPER FANCY crystal chess set!  I win all the time, all I has to do is push them off with my paws!

DavidJMarsh

I have an idea. This goes for all of you here. We have 2 groups, The Learning Centre and FREE SIMUL GROUP. In the Learning Centre, you can decide to get a fantastic coach deal (coaches make coaching prices cheaper for Learning Centre students) +, also there is free forums and stuff as well. The FREE SIMUL group is all free, where you get the chance to play some really strong titled players. Then, you can get your coach from the Learning Centre to review it with you :) THe links 

http://www.chess.com/groups/home/the-free-simul-group?

http://www.chess.com/groups/home/the-learning-centre

VULPES_VULPES
aussiedj wrote:

I have an idea. This goes for all of you here. We have 2 groups, The Learning Centre and FREE SIMUL GROUP. In the Learning Centre, you can decide to get a fantastic coach deal (coaches make coaching prices cheaper for Learning Centre students) +, also there is free forums and stuff as well. The FREE SIMUL group is all free, where you get the chance to play some really strong titled players. Then, you can get your coach from the Learning Centre to review it with you :) THe links 

http://www.chess.com/groups/home/the-free-simul-group?

http://www.chess.com/groups/home/the-learning-centre

Thanks aussie! I'll try those out!

DavidJMarsh

you're welcome

CookedQueen

If your chess s***s then you could try to improve your chess.

Ever thought trying to get better?

LoekBergman

Or you could try to analyse your losses, because there are the weak points visible what you have to learn at your current understanding of chess. And after it, you will get to a new level of playing chess in which you do not make those mistakes again. Unfortunately, your opponents have become better as well and they bring you into other situations in which you will make other mistakes. And you will have that same feeling again.

So, please learn to cope better with losing a game and learn from your losses. And then enjoy playing chess. :-)

urk
You resemble Harry Pillsbury
kindaspongey

 Has VULPES_VULPES posted in this thread since November of 2014?