Negative self-talk

I don't know how to get rid of it. Started playing rapid games on Lichess after a while again (was rated almost 2100 but now my rating's in the low 2000s), took a few Ls and I feel like it's gonna take me too much effort to get good opening positions again.

For example, I wanna switch up my opening repertoire (especially as Black), and here are all the reasons I give myself not to play certain openings:

- Lion Philidor with 3... Nbd7 - this fianchetto variation keeps kicking my ass;
- Lion Philidor with 3... e5 - I keep forgetting how to play the queenless middlegame;
- Scandinavian (Modern, 2... Qa5, 2... Qd6, 2... Qd8) - too many exact lines and I hate Ne5;
- Caro-Kann - I don't wanna deal with the Exchange Variations;
- French - Black gets killed on the kingside too easily;
- Sicilian - EVERYONE has a variation against it, too much work;
- Pirc - no thanks, I don't understand it well + the Austrian Attack is suffocating;
- Modern - same as with Pirc but sharper and I can't get my Gurgenidze lines in well;
- 1... e5 - I don't wanna deal with the King's Gambit;
- Nimzowitsch Defence - circumvents the King's Gambit but there's still a lot and 2. d4 is good;
- Alekhine Defence - passive + 2. Nc3 is a good bailout and I don't wanna play Vienna as Black;
- other from 1. e4 - dunno, maybe I could Owen's into Hippo or just Hippo? (not that negative).

Whenever stuff like that happens, I feel paralysed for the most part. I can probably continue the list if anyone suggests anything I haven't already.

What does your own negative self-talk tell you when it comes to chess, and how do you deal with it?

Also, I tried to edit the post in order to update the Hippo point for added negativity, but apparently, it violates the Community Guidelines. Thanks for nothing, Chess.com.

If it is as "simple" as negative self-talk, then you get rid of it by replacing it with positive self-talk instead. However, it is more complicated than that because this "simple" act is a logical one and your brain literally can't function logically once you get upset enough and your heartrate rises too much. I made a YouTube video almost an hour long which addresses the 7 types of tilt and what the antidote to each type is. Watching the video is a worthwhile investment of your time because most people (often without knowing it) suffer from multiple types of tilt, but it takes awareness first before they can even begin to fix things.

Also, notice that I'm trying to get to the root cause of the tilt (which likely causes your negative self-talk) as most people don't just have negative self-talk by itself without some underlining emotion such as tilt.

Hey, this seems very useful! I'mma watch it later.

BTW, it's not like I tilted today, but the last couple of days were disappointing enough that they made me go into an analysis of what I could play differently, and then I discovered that I don't remember my own analysis, meaning that it's either going back to memorisation or I've actually LOST UNDERSTANDING of the game, which is hella dumb.

Also, I've been to CBT for years now, and I've addressed my negative self-talk in other areas of life, plus I've stopped connecting my chess success (or lack thereof) to my personal worth, which has been life-saving. The problem is, that doesn't quite remove my obsession with chess once I go back to playing it, and I don't exactly want to choose between not playing it and feeling bad.

I've heard good things about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and yes you shouldn't have to choose between playing chess and not feeling bad. Wishing you the best and hope my video can offer some insight and help too