While other athletes are drinking Gatorade to increase their performance, chess players are using block-ade.
OK, so a knight and a bishop walk into a bar
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Did you hear the one about the pawn that moved like a knight?
No?
Good because that is simply unheard of.
OR...the one about the chess player who was looking for a pawn chain at the pawn shop???
Oh I never get tired of those pawn shop jokes.
Some fun , some not.
Ulio wrote:
Some fun , some not.
MOST fun
some not
add a joke. even if it's not funny, it will lead the way to funny.
How do you win a chess game in Czechoslovakia?
Czech mate.
Did you hear about the guy who married a woman from the czech republic?
Game over by czech mate.
How about the gingerbread man who married the sadomasochist older woman?
All tied up by stale mate.
The rook said to the advanced passed pawn: "Don't worry, I got your back" and the pawn said to the rook: "Thanks but who's got my diagonals?"
The passed pawn should've also asked "Who's got my front?"
I once had the honor of having dinner with garry kasporov, the only problem was I had a checkered table cloth, it took him two hours to pass the salt.
Definition of Opponent: a slimy individual with an ugly face.
the_fat_lady wrote:
Definition of Opponent: a slimy individual with an ugly face.
chess is funny like that. we're all knd of trying to help each other to improve, but we're all potential opponents.
A chess master died. A few days later, a friend of his heard a voice...it was the chess master.
"What's it like, where you are now?" he asked the chess master.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news?"
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it really is heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz games going on 24/7, and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, Fischer...they are all here, and you can play them any time you want."
"Fantastic!" "But what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday." 
"...so I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov the other night... problem was, we had a checkered tablecloth and it took him three hours to pass the salt!"
Hear about the pawn that was promoted to a queen, then got taken by it's own rook? Hate crime.
A passed pawn comes home from work one day driving a brand new BMW.
His wife is astonished and says "Honey, I don't think we can afford this nice new car on your salary", the passed pawn replies "Relax, I'm about to get promoted really soon!"
jesterville wrote:
A passed pawn comes home from work one day driving a brand new BMW.
His wife is astonished and says "Honey, I don't think we can afford this nice new car on your salary", the passed pawn replies "Relax, I'm about to get promoted really soon!"
LOL
Wow,i LOVE this one
All the other ones suck,joking
(like my joke? :P)
The chess player couldn't find the key to the position. Therefore, he could not get into the game.