I have a totally different take on losing. I had a paradigm shift when I realized that I suck at chess (probably <800). That’s when I started to think that I don't care anymore whether I win or lose. I just wished I could play a game without having to deal with ego, arrogance and shame--mine and that with whom I was playing. Regardless of whether I’m good or not good at chess I started to wonder why people can’t play the game just to enjoy the wonder of the process of it and to heck with who is the ‘winner’ (stronger player) or ‘loser’ (guys like me who just aren’t good at chess for some reason)? I get the ‘war’ aspect of the game--the ‘vs’ aspect, but it is just a game to supposedly enjoy. Like when we were kids playing ‘war,’ nobody cared whether you won or lost, but rather it was just fun playing the game. In fact getting shot (losing) and acting out dying was sometimes more fun than being the guy who shot you!
If you don’t find it rewarding to play a weaker player because there is no challenge, then I can understand that. But still, maybe these stronger players should reach out once in a while and try to give the weaker opponent some tips and pointers while a game is being played. Maybe the stronger player shouldn’t even mind if that ends up costing him or her the game (playing an unrated game)! And if the weaker player gets trounced then that’s absolutely fine -- “Wow, you check mated me in just ten moves. I really liked the way you surprised me by sacrificing your queen.”
But I suppose chess is like the real world -- aggressively competitive and all about winning and that’s it. Huh... I wonder what Jesus’ attitude would be playing a game of chess? “Blessed are the losers for they shall be comforted.” “Man shall not live by winning at chess alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the stronger player to assist the weaker.”
I know I know that this topic has been covered ad infinitum, but I just have to vent a little.
I'm currently playing in the 19th French Thematic Tournament <1600 at 3 days per move, and my current opponent is dragging out our game as long as possible.
In our other game he was hopelessly beaten, as I had two queens to his one pawn, but he kept moving, usually waiting until he had a few hours left to move. He finally resigned one move away from mate.
In our current game he's doing it again. I've got a passed pawn which he cannot possibly stop, which will give me a bishop, a queen, and two pawns to his three pawns. But he's dragging it out like molasses in January.
I'm not looking for a solution to this, or even sympathy, as I know thousands of other players on this site have experienced the same. I just had to complain that some people are so blankety blank immature that they can't just suck it up and resign when they're lost.