I experienced this same thing a while ago. It felt like I should stop playing chess because my rating was only going down. What I didn’t realize is that rating is never a perfect reflection of your abilities. Although the is a positive correlation between rating and skill, it doesn’t always represent how good you are.
I believe the reason why you are experiencing this rating decline is that you play too much and are too hard on yourself.
To get over this, you must understand that in chess you do lose and you do have slumps. The upside: your rating will go back up if you cut yourself some mental slack but still work hard. This could include watching YouTube videos, solving puzzles, are just playing for fun.
Like mentioned before, I think you play too many games. Stick to 5 rapid games at a maximum per day, and review 2 of them, one win and one loss. Solve correctly 10 puzzles, and spend some time learning a new opening.
Doing all this will help keep chess fun and fresh, but you will also improve.
Hope this helped!
It's getting to a make or break moment where I really wonder if there's anything at the end of this road. I'm already kind of insecure about my intelligence and getting pwned game after game after game after game is honestly not doing my mental health any favors
I try taking breaks, watching videos, doing puzzles... and sometimes I do well, but more often than not though man it's just a blunder fest. Am I better off just freeing myself from this prison and doing something else with my time? And why am I so addicted to this game that tortures me as much as it does
very confusing, very painful