Psyching out my opponents - half way to winning already.

ROFL!!

You could always try filling your mouth with green or blue food dye and rubbing a couple of garlic cloves into your hands before the comp then taking a couple of strong onion sandwiches in with you to snack on.

Be sure to breath out heavily every time they breath in, and a big open mouthed grin will be sure to put them off! They will be resigning before you know it!

It works! I have used it many times playing rugby and in historical reenactments years ago! 

how do you distract online people?

 Ferret out their location with my CIA/Sears GPS, sit on their front step, set myself on fire, and while they are distracted or choking from the smoke, hit their "resign" button.  Clever--no?? 

A more subtle way is to post midget porn links in the chatbox

But I wanabee low-level and untalented and have acheived my goal.  Next I shall become untalented at a higher level, perhaps superior, and degenerate into a no-talent, sub-par semi-human chess player of litle or no repute.  At least I have a plan!

ROFL, this is so funny.  I would also suggest tittering ino a handkercheif as he prepares to move.

I would be afraid to talk trash, because when I would lose I would feel like the biggest piece of crap... A trash talker is bound to not back it up.  Everyone loses.  The one time their trash talking doesn't work, their words don't carry weight.  If your going to talk trash, in other words, WIN, because if you don't , your the idiot.

I broke down in laughter at "E4!!!, E5???".

Whenever I win a piece, I pull out my wallet and scream "Dolla dolla billz ya'll!!!", chuck money at their face and dance.

P.S.  Don't use REAL dolla dolla billz, y'all.  Losers took all my money :(

Too bad that doesn't work on the internet, eh?