Sigh

#1: Tilt, tilt, tilt

#2: I hate playing the Italian 

 #1 solution: uhhhh

#2 problem: for whatever line of the Italian I play, I don't get an advantage half the time (my opponents all equalize in 15 moves); the old line I played engines hate and can refute easily and I got better results, yet I can't improve if all I used to play is garbage according to Fritz and Stockfish; the "new" line I play with an early b4-a4 is too complicated and I get a losing position after like 6 or 7 moves after I'm out of opening prep even though the engines all say "it's fine"

Problem 1 can be fixed, but only if problem 2 can be as well

I am having a opening crisis rn 

Help

Or something idk

coincidental, but I have the same problems.

I tilt and always play the Italian for no good reason.

I'd recommend getting a book or DVD on the Italian. If there are other openings you're hoping to modify in e4, I might suggest the following (otherwise it's a bit pricey):

https://www.chessable.com/lifetime-repertoires-wesley-sos-1-e4-part-1/course/38349/

Also (and this is very important): if you get an advantage half the time and equality the rest, your openings are already far above average. I would only worry about it if the equal positions are incredibly dry. I only rarely get an advantage with White, but I get interesting positions against most lines.

Yeah, it's true that it might be above average, but I still feel like there's something I'm missing. Some GMs play to get maybe even an equal position, but one that's complicated or unclear. Those positions require you to think (I mean in classical they're great). I was reading an interview with either Tal or Botvinnik about Bobby Fischer, and he (one of them) said that when Bobby came to the USSR and played skittles blitz with all the masters at the Moscow (probably) chess club or something before a tournament, he was beating most, if not all of them, in the first 20 moves or so. If I can't get an edge or equal but not dry position out of the Italian, then I probably will have to switch to Ruy Lopez or something else. Thanks for recommending the book idea (I kind of already was thinking that, but it was last resort). Up until this point, I haven't had to rely on books, DVDs, etc. to learn openings, but I don't think I can get much further just by Stockfish, play, revise.

I wouldn't view it as giving up and going the easy route- I'd view it as a significant shortcut, getting a lot more information in less time. The discipline you've already developed by working on your own opening repertoire will help you greatly in finding improvements to the book's content, or choosing alternative variations in frustrating lines. There's no rule saying you have to play everything the book tells you to play, it just teaches you some of the most interesting and useful motifs and might show you a novelty or two!

Anyway, you've made it a lot further than I did before I got my first opening book (I was high 1600s when I got it. I didn't use engines or anything, just a book with 2-page summaries of each chess opening...) and your current practice will form good habits, so long as you choose to keep them!

True. Thanks!