The Rematch Problem

A lot of times I like to pop in for a game, and I end up playing someone who starts demanding a rematch when it's over, and even being abusive on my wall when I just decline and pop out.

First off, none of us is Magnus Carlsen, so to get your ego so invested in a mano-a-mano mindset against some anonymous avatar from across the world is nothing short of a mental illness.  Enjoy the game, learn from it, and move [no need for expletives -- MOD] on.  Why would the concept of having to 'get even' even cross your mind, especially at the level I play at.  

I'm personally of the opinion that someone who goes on someone else's board and starts name calling over the issue of not having been granted a rematch should be suspended.  

What say all of you?

(Sorry if this issue has been talked about prior, I imagine it probably has as it's way too endemic for my liking, and I'm sure it annoys a lot of others) 

"No need for expletives - Mod".  Wow, just wow.

There are people actually abusing other people with expletives and worse on the walls around here, the kind of behavior that sullies the game, and this site does nothing.  But you see fit to call out my expletive that was used to enhance a point.  Grow up.

this issue has been discussed in detail in other threads.

Posts on your wall aren't as moderated as the forum. So either report him, or delete his stuff and block him.

Hardly a week goes by without a thread like this.

My rule is simple. I give you a rematch if I feel like it, and otherwise, I decline your rematch offers for whatever reason I want. If people think they owe me a rematch, screw them; that just makes me less likely to rematch actually. 

If you were rude to me and ask for a rematch, I might accept or not depending on circumstances. But if I win, I'll probably decline the next rematch, because I don't want someone who's rude to me having "the last laugh" in our games. Or, maybe not. Again, I do what I want.

This is what I do in blitz and bullet. There are some out there who think that there is different rematch etiquette (if that's even a thing) for bullet as opposed to blitz. I'm not one of those people. Sure, it's a one-minute game, and I almost certainly have time to play a rematch of a one-minute game, but probably, I'd rather not. Actually, I much prefer playing different opponents than the same person.

It seems to me that this site would benefit from two small changes to the way things work:

1. Chat is disabled for all players by default. If you want to chat you have to enable the feature (and so does your opponent).

2. No walls.

I may be missing something, but I think those two changes would fix most problems that people habitually complain about on here - rudeness, harassment, and of course the psychological mindgames associated with declining rematches.

Thanks everyone.

That's good 'tude dpnorman, appreciate your writing that.

Agree.

I often flog myself after declining a rematch request.