"I'm not saying such a thing exists, I'm just saying that (as far as I know) no one has proved that it doesn't."
Nobody knowing that one exists is ample proof that it doesn't.
One could say the same thing about forced wins for Black from the starting position. Both sides of the argument are speculating, that's my point.
But you'd have to check every position to fit your version of solved? Might take a while.
Not exactly. For whatever position you wanted to know the value of, you'd only have to look at positions that are reachable from that one, and only a subset of those. But yes, it would take a while unless someone discovers some completely unexpected optimization that speeds up the calculation while still getting the correct answer.