What bread to eat while playing chess?

Bread is born, dies a moldy death, and then is resurrected as Worcestershire Sauce. The imbuing of the Sauce is tantamount to survival.

Join us at WorcesterChur(ch), twighead, and we will teach you everything you need to know to get by.

Some people will say I am just being ridiculous - er, re-dill-au-jus, er, um, but it's no big dill - er, make that it's a very big dill, indeed, when you have some Worcestershire Sauce in your au jus:

  The French go for a dip in the pool - how refreshing it is... our mantra is: give us this hour our hour, our Tower, our power, our flowers, our shower, of Worcestershire sauce and we will not cower, but make it one with flour...

Whoa there, Kandinsky! 

Have some bread, and enjoy this Mother's Day tale since Mother's Day is almost here.

We must not waste the bread. We must be more serious about the bread.

Good - er, no, excellent - French joke for y'all:

Where's the best place to dip your French Dip sandwich?

Answer: it depends, but probably in zee dip end...

That's right, I don't even store my plastic chess pieces in a plastic bag... I use a glass jar... I mean I wanna see when those pieces are starting to collect mold, right?

Dumm and dummier...

Kicking against the delusional...really now ..stay focused .........now we start afresh..

And for dessert...

What they're teaching the British boys at school these days:

Go get the leaves, go get the cheddah, get zee bread, go buy a fireplace, and make it, yah?

And remember, folks, French cheese is dis-GUSSSSS-ting on his masterpiece.

Ne'er say "bye" to rye, 

for it is here to staye,

aye aye, matey, what have you there, guy?

Is't some rye bread drawing nigh?

Good in rye puddings, or whilst thou have it in a pie?

A chunk with some butter, a hunk with some fries.

Eat the rye and you will be forever young, fit, and spry.

Only running out of rye can make one cry.

So you must try, but if you do, oh my!

to ne'er e'er say "bye" to rye, you see, this is why.

You don't want to eat anything that you have to look at to eat while you are playing chess, since this distracts you from the game.  Buttered bread is bad, since buttering and handling the bread requires some visual attention.  Better to eat a pudding with a spoon, since you really don't have to look at what you're doing.

So be it, as long as it is a bread pudding.

...and sure beats getting toasticular cancer...

Something for the season Eggnog bread...baked by grandpa in his outdoor oven..

That's looking egregious, dude. Like totally put an orange on a white cat and turn him into an egg bread, dude:

Ya say ya like green cockroaches, son? Speak up there, sonny, 'mah lil hard o' hearin'.

Do you find yourself late to chess tournaments and undernourished?

Would you like to sleep-in on the big day?

Fret no more, with the vélo de pain, you will feel no more pain, and play chess in style, like a champion every time! Should you get hungry during your games, there is now a solution: simply eat your bicycle.

Order now and receive our complementary bread dipping sauce: a 20 mL bottle of champignon mushrooms marinated in Worcestershire sauce.

Just don't eat the seat, or you will fall down to your feet and get a pole of bread shooting up your, as they say, extrémité arrière.

Don't forget some cab money for the trip home. Ha ha. Ta ta.

You've seen the look; this man is thinking to himself: I'm going to quit my day job, get myself the vélo de pain, and become a chess grandmaster.

He might be thinking of this .... what is goofy since pluto's a dog..or 

Since eating, as a sensory experience, activates the subconscious mind where basic drives operate, isn't there a danger that eating while playing chess would harm your game, since chess demands your greatest emphasis on the higher faculties of consciousness?  Or is there a chance that eating while playing chess would activate the subconscious and thus mobilize your intuition, adding the armory of faculties with which you address the game? 

Or both ...depending upon the situation and then again the kind of food being consumed is important in the equation....good thought Luitpolt..maybe do some experimenting..get a government grant..take up cooking ..

                           Bread gone Bad

All right, people, it's time to get serious. Very serious. I have now found a very strong case for making pumpernickel bread my number 1 go to bread for chess games, as I have just found out that the origin of the word, pumpernickel, is quite entertaining: it comes from the German word, pumpern: to break wind and Nickel, a take on the name Nicholas, which is associated with goblins or devilish characters. The word comes from the bread’s “reputed indigestibility.” So, the bread can be translated as devil’s fart.

Next time you’re eating pumpernickel, you can remind your friends that you’re eating something that was named after a farting devil or farting goblin...

What does the end of this bread with a hole in the middle of it remind you of, people?!

The lovers, seen here (above), have no idea what they are about to do to each other...

If that's not serious enough for you, I don't know what is.