What chess tournaments are really like....

My background: I won my 3rd-grade class chess tournament and have played maybe a dozen games since then (I'm in my 40's now). I've never played in a real tournament, but I've been thinking about it lately.  I've seen photos of tournaments, so I get the basic gist of it.

My dream: Last night, I had the following dream about a chess tournament.

1. There were groupies. Chess groupies. These groupies had tight t-shirts with their favorite players photograph on them. These players were not the best in the world, but merely one of the best 2-3 players in their club. These women followed their favorite players to all the tournaments. I didn't notice any male groupies-sorry ladies.
2. There was lots of free food. A buffet, as well as table service while you were playing. Crab legs and the whole nine yards.
3. There was free beer.

I'm not sure why it's taken this long to get interested in playing in a tournament, but I'm all for it now. I've obviously been missing out.

K-

lol, dream on....

Did they hand out free chess books or Chess Life/New in Chess issues?

They must have; I just didn't notice. All the groupies were probably blocking my view.