What do you do when you're drunk

Just don't spill your beer while playing cellphone 'net chess and driving!
J/K... my advice is to not drink at all. Have a better life!
I play loud music and move quickly. Also, after your opponent moves, always think to yourself "that move was terrible, what an idiot! I'm going to crush this guy" then, because you didn't see it was attacking your queen, you lose the queen then "oops, didn't see that, time for another game!"

I tthnk be mie at play them m knwwigthas over yhe bneanhadnt then I take3waf etq24 fthe qeaeuueeeen over yeah!! And ...

Opening = similar to usual. Middlegame = more intuitive than usual (bother to calculate even less than normal). Endgame = less materialistic than usual (even more prioritisation on active moves over pawn counting than normal). Basically it takes the traits you see in all of my games and exaggerates them. I can only assume I play worse too.