What is the best way to distract your opponent in over the board chess?

At the bar I always say, "Winner buys next round!"

I don't think I'd use any tactics to distract an opponent but one I'd fear to face if I ever play in a tournament would be to play against someone with a seriously awful body odor.  

I was once in a bike race and was unable to two pass the offender in front of me because every time I'd try, I'd run out of breath before I could pass him, or nearly hurl. Talk about the definition of insanity.

well, the way to distract your opponent in chess, excluding outside interventions, depends on the fundamental understanding of 'dissembling and the way it's carried out is through gradations of deception depending on skill level.

In other words, this will apply in particular to players who have a purpose in every game. The strategic purpose or the dynamic means to achieve a certain goal must not be obvious. A good chess player will pick up on the motivations and intentions behind his opponent's move; the basic ideas at least. However, some positions require a delicate maneuvering whereby one lulls his opponent into feeling the sense he/she is playing someone on the same page in terms of comprehending what's taking place.

The idea is very crude and common in regular chess. For example, I'll go along with the opponent's mindset of tempo and importance vis a vis their own approach. Meanwhile, I am just accepting the equality in the game while I ponder ways of enticing the opponent into playing a style that favors my inclincation.

It's a reality. Psychology of chess is immense.

What is the best way to continue my distractin and win this?

If you really want distraction strategy without getting disqualified, a partner will do. Your partner could point a BAZOOKA to your opponent 

He can't see me over the internet.

This is the game right now.

The following might work!

(.)(.)

Nice post, but it's going to be wasted on this thread.

Try looking like this.

Just a question, Snark.  Do you ever play under your speed, like a pool hustler or perhaps a chess hustler in the park, or do you just try to figure out your opponent's style (top players say there is no style below 2200) and get him off his game by either playing offensively or defensively?

Some historians claim that Emanuel Lasker made deliberately "bad" moves to lull his opponent into a false sense of security, but I think that's not quite fair to a World Chess Champion who held the title for 27 years.  To Lasker chess was a struggle, and psychology, at least on the chess board, was part of the game.  I don't think he made bad moves, just less than optimal ones, so it gave his opponent a chance to go wrong.

Best,

Bob

Wow.  Nobody liked my idea?

Oh, we like it, we like it, but I prefer brunettes ... mostly.

hmmm.  Jennifer Lawrence has all colors of hair ;)

Oh, so true, but here's a brunette -- well, mostly -- from classic Hollywood I find more distracting. :-)))  Ahhh, Sophia ... and Bette knows how to belt out a song.

I think it is not prohibited to go to a OTB tournament with a Darth Vader fantasy

What a doubtful question.... However, to score maximum effect I recommend punching yourself on the nose really hard.