What is the best way to distract your opponent in over the board chess?

Point to a direction and tell your opponent to look in the direction.

When they look back they will be so confused.

lol

Thanks bro!...lol

Throw your opponent's King out of the room and then accuse the opponent of cheating.

Take out your laptop and start analyzing the position in Fritz.

Tell your cat to start walking on the board (Alechine did this with his two cats).

Start screaming like a madman.

Break the clock.

THAT'S THE ETERNAL PATZER'S TOP 5. HAHA!!!

Jello Biafra was pretty leftish.

is green jello moldy?

It's often molded.

This thread was happily going to die. So close...

Make funny faces

make farty sounds with your pits.

make party sounds with your fits; you see, someone before had said, "make farty sounds with your pits" then didn't have the guts to leave that on there, but I do have the guts, peephole, I do have lots of the guts, so many in fact that you don't even want to count them, trust me.

Eat a combination bowl of sardines, limburger cheese, and potato salad 35 minutes before the game begins.

You see the importance of fireworks bans in your city now?

Sure! Oh! Don't forget to use this for a chaser:

The World Chess Championship 2016 is an upcoming chess match between reigning world champion Magnus Carlsen and challenger Sergey Karjakin to determine the World Chess Champion.

The winner gets the grand prize:

Playing good enough will sure distract him....