What is the best way to distract your opponent in over the board chess?

Whatever happened to the OP?

Here's OP............................

Eat chips as loud as you can!

 Dinsdale!? Dinsdale!? Dinsdale!?

Fry chips as loud as you can.... 

hhaa

Hold up this sign.... 

Uh oh, we've been made. Lie low!

Ooo!  Just ran accross this forum -- can't wait to get up to speed ...!

Thanks for the warnings ... but checking out the comments so far, this doesn't seem to be a high speed forum, which is good for us slow-thinkers. 

How to distract an opponent?  Every time opponent makes a move, say something under your breath, like "Wow!".. "Really?" ... "Yes!" ... "Hah!" ... "Arrrggh!" or "Gotcha now, sucker!" 

Variation:  After each exclamation, add "Sorry -- I'll quit doing that."

This?

Wouldn't bother me.

I don't know about that... Her face is more masculine than mine, and the glittery pink heart hair clip isn't fooling anybody.

The distraction element is another reason I want to begin playing all OTB turnament games in a fursuit.

She is WGM Andjelija Stojanovic. She just uses a clever tactic to win her games.

Can you make a living of chess alone?

In OTB chess, stare at a random square when you see a tactic on the other side of the board. Your opponent will likely look where you are looking and miss the tactic.

Wow, is she not pretty. That is an ugly woman.