Wow, bulls' pizzle. Wasn't that used for lash?.. A multi-level one. (┬┬﹏┬┬). All those types of deepen English vocab's carry extra power to them. When layered with a particular tone of a situation, it's still alien ,but you know it's skirmish.
What is the perfect chess insult?

It depends on who is saying it, and who it's intended for. I was once told I have "a nice pair of bishops".

1 taking ALL your opponent's pieces
2 promote all pawns into queen and let them take her
3 checkmate with king and rook ONLY

If you refuse a rematch, you suck at chess.
How about if they have some important things to do and don't have time to rematch?
“Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish!”
-William Shakespear
Henry IV Part I (Act 2, Scene 4)