What it's really like being a female chess player.
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"A good number of men are pigs, or rude, or whiny, but so are women."
It is interesting how differently one can react to a premise. Because for some people, if they said, "a good number of men are pigs, or rude, or whiny," they would follow it with something like "therefore, this is what men are, naturally yucky beings that need to be taught how to not be complete and utter scumbags."
Whereas other people, will just say, yeah, there are bad men, but there are also good men, and I won't know which is which until I, heaven freaking forbid, learn something about this person besides their gender. Because, y'know, gender is one attribute a person can have out of millions, so maybe we should take a little look at those other million attributes before judging a person... then again it's so fun to just pretend we know who someone is even though we actually have absolutely no idea, right? Yeah. :) :)
Armagh-Chameleon wrote:
it's a guys right to stink, have a rotten attitude, be sexist and act like a dick. any challenge to those rights will be strongly opposed by the chess community.
Yeah, that's exactly what's being communicated here.
Neverfearthedark wrote:
The "not all men" argument misses the intent of the message. The message is, as a female chess player, I am harassed consistently on the basis of my gender both online and OTB, by men. Did I say all men? No, I didn't. The perpetuators of sexism come from both sides, men and women. However, the majority of them are men who feel that merely my existence as a woman guarantees them access to my mind and body. The idea that just because I am a woman, I can't post a picture of myself in fear of inciting unwanted and inappropriate attention, is sexist. It just is. Whether or not I put on makeup, look nice, or whatever, is entirely relevant to this conversation. That's the same as the argument that women who are scantily clad deserve to get raped.
And btw, isn't it a bit telling about chess.com that one of the trending topics is about Nigel Short's undeniably sexist comments about the intellectual capabilities to women who play chess? If saying that women aren't smart enough to play chess is a tolerated topic on chess.com, that doesn't make it sound like the greatest place for women. People would lose their shit if someone said all men suck at chess.
Holding the door for anyone is just decent human behavior. It should not just be extended to women. Women can hold the door for men, men can hold the door for women, women can hold the door for women, men can hold the door for men. Gender is irrelvant. Be a nice human. Hold the damn door. But yeah, men who only hold the door for exclusively women are assuming that women need to be particularly coddled or protected. It perpetuates the myth that women need to be saved by men. Chivalry is a silly argument. If that person is such a nice person, they'll hold the door for everyone.
Just browsing through more comments (glad this one isn't highlighted in red for a reason I don't understant). I'm going to be straight with you, if you don't want the attention, change your picture. I still am unsure of what messages you've even recieved that you consider sexual harrassment, but while of course it's wrong for people to send you whatever it is, you can't control other people.
I'm not blaming you for anything. I'm telling you that if having a picture of you in a tanktop, winking is more important than not getting sexually harrassed, then keep it and stand up to the guys who send you inappropriate messages (still not sure why you don't just screenshot the messages and publicly shame them into stopping their behavior if it's so severe you consider it to be actual sexual harrassment). But if not being sexually harrassed is more important to you than anything (as it seems to be), then change your photo to a random picture of a dog or something. Because that will make it stop. If a gorilla is throwing feces at you, you can either sit there and cry about it, or you can pick up a pile of crap and throw it back.
11 pages later and people still getting trolled.
2 things Trex... Short never said men are smarter. He said there is a difference between the sexes, both intellectually and emotional. Different does not mean "better". Many fields woman excell at, more so than men. Neither is better or smarter.
2nd ... there are other solutions besides being a pacifist or throwing the crap back. That is just a narrow way to solve the problem. Resorting to the same tactic as the perp is never a good solution.
mdinnerspace, first, I have no idea what you're talking about in the first part. Who is short? I don't know what comment you're referencing but it has nothing to do with me or any comments I've made.
Second, my only point was that she should fight back instead of complain. "Resorting to the same attack" would be to start harrassing random males on this site which I've never suggested she should do. She should stand up for herself instead of criticizing all of the men on this site in a random forum post. If specific people have offended her or harrassed her then she should be addressing them. Posting here will change absolutely nothing.
CensoredReality, I'm not worried about Stuzzi. Here are some of his comments addressed to me in another forum:
"hey TRextastic, I saw you removed me from your friend list. I am just curious why. I sent you a game request if you want let's play."
"you said that you don't like having friends who don't talk to you or play with you, so I have sent you a game and let's chat. cmon please don't ignore me...I want you to be my friend again, please."
"I just sent you a game request and you declined...and you deleted me from your friend list...are you freaking kidding me"
And that's how you deal with unwanted attention from men on this site :)
How do you know he's a man? I'm dubious.
stuzzicadenti wrote:
The OP was trying to spread social awareness of an issue that plagues most online communities, hoping that discussion could someday possibly lead to change. Everyone else here seems to be trolling.
@Trex, thanks for blocking me too. I really appreciate that.
OP got you good.
Mar 17, 2016
0
#172
bigpoison wrote:
How do you know he's a man? I'm dubious.
...pretending to be an Italian, but not a girl this time around.
are the rules of chess different for female chess players?
@green... no.
Traditionally there are 3 ways to deal with an issue.
1. Turn your back and run...the coward
2. Turn the other check...the pacifist
3. Fight back using whatever means necessary..the brave
A fourth and alternitive solution should be considered... Take away the antagonists sword (whatever power they think they hold). The issue is resolved after they no longer have any feeling of superiorty.
bigpoison wrote:
How do you know he's a man? I'm dubious.
I know right? She might just be an open, loving lesbian, but our heteronormative concepts prevent us from appreciating this.
heteronormative; I like that
btw now there is such a thing as "feminist glaciology" which is studying glaciers from a feminist perspective. your tax dollars at work in our wonderful universities;
"heteronormative; I like that"
Yeah I just assumed it was a made up word, but no, it really exists. Or at least it does now haha.
well it sounds a lot like many other terms I've heard regurgitated by brainwashed academic types; so it probably does exist at least in graduate programs at our institutions of, er, uh, "higher learning"