What OTB behavior REALLY annoys you?

We all have some pet peeves when it comes to over-the-board players.  Some of it is tolerable (your opponent constantly calling out "check" for instance!).  Other stuff?  Not so much...

These are the things that annoy me to no end:

Using 2 hands to castle (Gawd... I want to smack people who do this retarded $h!7 !)

Moving the rook first when castling (actually, I'm Ok with this from newbies.  You've been around?  Nada!)

Sliiiiiiiiiiiiding bishops, rooks, queens across the board in contact with the board surface

Slamming pieces into each other when capturing, often knocking captured piece into an adjacent square

Using the base of a piece to punch the clock button (I own a Chronos touch SPECIFICALLY to prevent this!)

Hitting the clock button vigorously hard and noisy, or repeatedly

Babbling about BS while I'm trying to analyze

Telling me my queen is under attack... or pointing out an obvious fork or pin

Constantly fidgeting, sliding their chair, or tapping their fingers on the table

Tossing captured pieces carelessly into the "pile"

Knocking down their king onto the board surface as a resignation move

Taunting, insulting, putting down moves, or overtly gloating over a won position

Those are the main ones, some of which I've ended playing relationships over... yeah, I know... lighten up and all that... but WTH is wrong with people anyway?

Yours?

Anyone in particular, kaynight?

Usually book stores and coffee shops.  Often with strangers...

Only played a few games in jail, and found the players there to be unusually conscientious and respectful!

Never been in prison, don't intend to ever be.

kaynight... do we have some kind of problem here?

Jeez...  Be careful with this jailbird kaynight.

Jailbird?  Heh!

Only been once... which was enough.  I suspect that most people who have never been to jail are probably overly fearful authority worshippers who have been too sheltered and "proper" to have ever really lived... but that's aside from the topic at hand.  Besides, jail is just the DMV with bars and a urine stench anyway...

The 2 things that make me shake my head:

1. The "slammer"  The player that thinks they are intimidating you by slamming the pieces down.  Excuse me but that is my set, so please be respectful.

2. Every kid that sits at a game siffling, sneezing, coughing, hacking, wiping there nose on there shirt.  All while the parent stands by and says nothing.  So i take it upon myself and say something.

If you arent going to teach your child how to act in public, then dont bring them.  

kaynight,

We all have our own particular nonsense threshold.

I'm kind of tired of your nonsense... way to derail a thread!  I guess some people get bored living in mommy's basement, and feel the need to troll for emotional responses on forums for satisfaction.  Whatever suits you.

I have 2 major ones, the first of which I had to deal with in Round 5 of the national open:

1) Opponent playing with the Pen or Pencil.  That can be tapping, or in the case of my round 5 opponent in Vegas, Twirling the pen with 1 hand thru the fingers.  It's distracting as sh*t, and sometimes he would drop it, or it would make a bit of a click sound when he stopped the twirl, etc.  If you are that f'ing ADD or ADHD, chess isn't for you anyway because it requires patience.  I despise players that play with or tap the writing utencils.

2) Placing captures pieces in the line of view of the board.  It's like standing 180 degrees from the pin when a player is trying to putt.  Put your captured pieces off to the side, whether that be the same side or opposite side of where the clock is doesn't matter, but get it the hell out of the line of vision when your opponent is looking at the board!  It should not look like that White has a Knight on "e9" or that Black has a Bishop on "c0".

OK.

List of things that DON'T piss me off during OTB Play:

Respectful opponents who love the game and don't resort to cheap distractionary tactics and dumbassery to win games.

Wow... you're right!  It is shorter!

P.S. Since I'm just an "angry old prune" who takes it all too seriously, I'm thinking we need to get together for a game.  I'll bring a huge bag of greasy doritos, my 25W bluetooth speakers blasting improvizational jazz/rap/metal, and a few yakking motormouth friends to "liven up" the game.  We'll play on your board, of coarse... and I'll wear my thick leather gloves to kind of soften the blows I'm going to give your pieces as I slam them into your chess clock button.  You don't mind, do you?  It's so refreshing to meet open minded youth who don't mind a bit of "out of the box" chessplaying!

Respect and civility are SO last century...

Existing. Otb is overrated.

True... OTB is overrated.  Why involve fellow human beings when you can sit in front of a machine and play chess.  In fact, why not set up the machines to play EACH OTHER, then we can go do something really useful like troll web forums?  Awesome!  I think we might be onto something here...

Bawker wrote:

True... OTB is overrated.  Why involve fellow human beings when you can sit in front of a machine and play chess.  In fact, why not set up the machines to play EACH OTHER, then we can go do something really useful like troll web forums?  Awesome!  I think we might be onto something here...

Ja...but how would we go about this ambitious endeavor?

 Hey...

Didn't say I had it all worked out.  However, it all starts with a dream, man!

Most players OTB conduct is exemplary IMO.This includes young people whose conduct is very good. A few years ago I refused to shake hands with someone who was banging pieces and the clock, and I told him to his face that I refused because his conduct was unsporting.

Even online I would say the vast majority conduct themselves well. Perhaps cheating is 5 to 10 % but trash talking and the such seems to occur at lower ratings.

I talk trash...like about that old baloney I threw out last week. That must have been ancient, it was green and had white stuff all on it...

Ah... man.  Why did you have to bring your ex-GF into the discussion?

Hmm... this trolling stuff is kind of fun.  I'm starting to see the appeal!