Where are the grandmasters on the forums?

Where are the grandmaster posters on these forums? As far as titled players are concerned, I see a couple of IM's, and some NM nobodies. Where are the GM's???

Why would they hang out with us losers?

Forget the nobodies, I want to see my GM posters.

OK, I'll start the stopwatch...

Er, I mean the calendar.

I like my looser buddies.

Some cheap rotgut, coarse music, and 4-move mates.

I want to see my GM madness.

They're here, but incognito. All GMs are allowed two accounts. So they use the titled one for not playing chess and having a cool profile, and with the other they troll, get drunk and and lose a lot of games to keep their alibi watertight. Right, macer?

Nice, I guess I am half a GM then, just one account with the trolling, drinking and losing but thats better than nothing isnt it ?

That's what real chess is all about, like Fresh said: Some cheap rotgut, coarse music, and 4-move mates! All GMs know that and yearn for the good old days, when they were drunk five year olds, listening to hard rock and beating their kindergarten teachers in the Najdorf over and over again.

           I'm pretty sure you wouldn't know a grandmaster even if he jumped up and bit you in the ass.

Are GMs likely to do that?

If it gets infected, it was probably a GM.

Wild GMs do that. One bite put me in the hospital for a week.

DrSpudnik wrote:

Are GMs likely to do that?

The ones from Romania, yes.

GMs aren't stupid enough to waste time on internet forums.  

              The OP's not too bright. In 1 thread he wants to see GM's, in another thread he wants to SUE GM's.

If you were a GM and were trying to be competitive in tournaments would you help dumb begineers by telling them your pet lines against opening x y z?

Would you respond to posts about how to get better at chess or would you study the game for yourself?

Maybe he has a plan:

See GM...Sue GM

                   Maybe V3 will come with camoflage for trolls.  He's been here for 4 days and has played 0 chess.

Well, I don't judge on the basis of zero games, but he does seem to be going down that trollish path.