Which is better, a bishop or a piece of delicious chocolate cake?

Yes thank you!

Can you get that in king size?   

Expensive. He might have to spend the knight.

What do you prefer:

Playing white or black.

"Exception" white need to use the toilet chair !!!

What? We're talking about choclate bishops and now you bring up toilet chairs?

It is related, just slightly different, come on you get my point.

Cake or bishop?

white or black, white has to use the toilet chair to offset the start advantage. 

Is it that hard to understand?

Fixed that for you.

OMG it's actually a song!

People have been singing this to me all my life, and it's actually a real song!

+1

I believe moderators refer to diversionary comments and photos as "derailing a thread".

Once a thread appears in "Off Topic", it's fair game.

At least I hope it's chocolate...

It sure looks like chocolate, but not much else to go on. ;)

By which provision?  Off Topic refers to the subject of the thread itself. Derailing of threads pertains to the conversation within them regarding the subject they are about, or have naturally meandered to in an organic way as opposed to a rude random assault of sorts.

You'll learn, I just don't have the patience to teach you.

You mispelled 'chops'.  You don't have the chops to teach me.

Off Topic subjects are off the topic of chess, chess.com, etc... Doesn't mean they aren't subjects or that the OP wants to see them derailed via random assaults into completely random diversions.  That's what the moderators keep telling us in so many words and deeds.