it feels as if every time I win as white, I lose as black immediately the next game
You've won over 80% of your games on this account. No one can give you advice on this if you don't play a few dozen games against your peers.
You score better with black.
I downloaded all your blitz games and had chessbase run the stats.
I used wins + 1/2 draws / total games = what you score.
For all 1892 games you score:
White: 50.35%
Black: 49.6%
Or if you round, you score 50% and 50%
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For games only this year (2021) you score:
white: 51.55%
black: 62.5%
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So you score better with black.
White has a wider choice of good moves, for black the choice of good moves is narrower. Especially in a sharp opening like the Sicilian there sometimes is only one move to stay in the game. Just play more carefully and think longer about every move. Black is OK.
Yeah, I try to play more solid openings as black, maybe I'm not playing as confrontational as I should, but it's hard finding confrontational moves as black