Will this coach make me IM?

Hi chess guys and friends, I am very sad because me can not be a good chess player, my family hates me for not being over 2000 ELO and the girls at the school run away from me because I scored rather poorly at my last highschool tournament. Last night I was crying at my room and I came across this coach from guatemala on the internet, he promised me he will make me IM. 

My coach is rated 2400 blitz on chess.com. He has been a member of chess.com for a week now. He says he does not want to show me his FIDE card because he does not want to get attention after making me IM in a year. We played some games online and he crushed me (reminded me of that time when stockfish crushed me in a blitz match) so I know for a fact he is pretty good.

Anyways, he says that with 1 hour of lessons from him per day and my homework I will become an International master in more or less a year, the lessons are quite expensive (25 bucks per hour) but I want to become International master so I am willing to pay.

Are my expectations realistic? Will I become IM in a year or would it take me longer, like a year and a half or two?

Thanks in advance for all your help dudes, this is truly a wonderful page.

I see you haven't lost your troll card since our lesson a while ago 

If you pay him an extra I am sure he will make you an IM in half a year.

Pay him $100 an hour and get it over in 3 months. I mean why wait? Then with the IM title you too could start giving 1,000's of students lessons. You'd make all of your money back in less than a week tops! Do the math, you'll see I'm right!

Dont delete the comment dude, please help me out, I thought you had experience with different coaches.

I would say a year is a bit optimistic - maybe a few months extra seems right. 

Is it possible to become IM in 3 months? Maybe I dont even need a coach, I am currently doing 5 tactics per day. I think if I start doing 500 tactics per day I may become IM.

Thoughts?

Dammit dude, I am tired of being the patzer at my school. Any shortcuts to become IM in an exact year?

You might want to ask your coach - maybe for an extra 5 dollars an hour you could get some extra secrets!

it is possible i can be your couch !

^You only joined 6 days ago, while BP's coach joined a week ago. It's obvious who's less likely to be a scammer. 

I hope you're a comfortable one. Or else!

$25 an hour is crazy. That's the most I've ever heard of for chess lessons. He must really be something special, BP

I hope you're kidding ... most gm's and people worth taking lessons charge like 60-75$ an hour. Look them up on the coaches section on this site 

UPDATE!

So I decided to take the classes. I told my mom that I felt sick, so I stayed at home, grabbed her credit card and send the dude 25 dolars. I know that I will probably die if my mom finds out but I dont care, my whole family is a bunch of salmon and they think I dont have future in chess, but I trust in myself, so I know it is possible. 

Here is a sneak peak about my first class, he told me to watch this video 10 times and then we analyzed this game in serious depth:

Any thoughts? Was the class good? He also taught me other things but he told me not to share them.

I think  the promise to move you from patzer to IM in less than 1 year is unrealistic optimism. The least amount of time I can give you guys is two years however I believe that if you cooperate with this coach after one year you would be a very strong player so go for it with realistic expectations.

Damn crazy Mexican.

Yeah I was just being silly, PrepetuallyPatzer.