Worst player ever


Frustration is too high and too much money invest in books, 6 boards and not satisfided with anything...All that chessable, tactics, coaches all but no way I never ever have nerves for this that's too physical pain and than in some way physical that never stop every time I lose in rows

I don't only understand why I play this still why what is that matter in my life to nervous about chess game and lose still don't know

Some dream about 2000 but that's impossible with my brain and nervous and no focus with any learning of anything

It's stupid not to learn anything while playing chess for many years. I think a lot about reaching one of the highest chess.com bullet ratings of all time

I don't have a chess identity and I think that's holding me back, nothing is super good everything is below average and whatever I pick up I seem to get lost in it