DONT DO ANYTHING!! LOL
Worst Thing To Do On Your First Move
Agree to play a game in old rules where games could be won through checkmate or stalemate. Then adjust your king without saying i adjust. you must move the king but it has no legal moves this moves that you lose through stalemate before the game even begins

If you are white: Think black goes first, wait for your opponent to make their move only to realize that it was your move and you have just lost on time.

kick your opponent, who being a tiny kid, cries, the noise sets off a players pet dog, who headbutts a table, which rolls off into the chief arbiter's computer and sets it on fire, roasting the arbiters, and one of them accidentally walks into the wall, which collapses onto a truck carrying nukes for north Korea, the nukes start to leak uranium, lots of people get poisoned, a car carrying TNT crashes into the truck, the TNT flies into the uranium, blowing up, which sets off the nukes, which fly back to north Korea. The explosion also sends all the remaining tables flying at high speed into the local police station, setting off all the tazers, zapping all the policemen, and some tazers fly towards some ammo, which blows up, and you are left in a half destroyed city with electrocuted policemen, burning arbiters, and poisoned people
Try to play chess while cooking and burn your phone