Worst Thing To Do On Your First Move

Try to play chess while cooking and burn your phone

DONT DO ANYTHING!! LOL

Have a huge cabinet fall on you

You smash your computer screen with a baseball?

Accidentally use superglue to stick the pieces to the board.

Say "I will win!" and then resign.

Agree to play a game in old rules where games could be won through checkmate or stalemate. Then adjust your king without saying i adjust. you must move the king but it has no legal moves this moves  that you lose through stalemate before the game even begins

Grab your opponent's king from across the board and try to eat it.

If you are white: Think black goes first, wait for your opponent to make their move only to realize that it was your move and you have just lost on time.

knock the board off the table

Die

resign

take a shotgun/AUG/FARMAS/M4A1/AK 47/SLAM-R/StG 44 and shoot your opponent

throw your opponent, then the arbiters, then the chief arbiter, then the president

kick your opponent, who being a tiny kid, cries, the noise sets off a players pet dog, who headbutts a table, which rolls off into the chief arbiter's computer and sets it on fire, roasting the arbiters, and one of them accidentally walks into the wall, which collapses onto a truck carrying nukes for north Korea, the nukes start to leak uranium, lots of people get poisoned, a car carrying TNT crashes into the truck, the TNT flies into the uranium, blowing up, which sets off the nukes, which fly back to north Korea. The explosion also sends all the remaining tables flying at high speed into the local police station, setting off all the tazers, zapping all the policemen, and some tazers fly towards some ammo, which blows up, and you are left in a half destroyed city with electrocuted policemen, burning arbiters, and poisoned people

see #576