Am I on/How do I get off the watchlist?

My opponent told me that he got this message when our game started...

MrVeryGood: NM SamCopeland may have violated our Fair Play policy - it has been noted and they may have their account restricted.)

I hadn't done anything but start the game. My opponent suggested that all my opponents are getting this message... To my knowledge, I haven't done anything that violates fair use except occasionally abort a game when my opponent seems to be idle (and I really don't think that should be a violation...). If it is true that all my opponents are getting this message, I would really like that to be fixed.

I don't have the answer to your technical question; hopefully Chess.com can respond.

But I think you should never abort a game (short of an unforeseen emergency).  Assume within the timeframe of the game you've signed up for (e.g., 30m/10s), that you are committed to that game.  Sometimes an opponent is simply stuck on a move; on other occasions, his/her system may have problems that are bogging them down (and equally, or more frustrating to them).  Whatever the reason, the time allowed for each person is wholly theirs to decide how to use - as one of the fundamental rules and norms of the game.  Aborting a game rejects that principle.

My Dearest Sam,

"Never run in the face of danger....walk very fast !" - Thurston Howell III

(Seriously, just ignore it....)

This message occurs when someone abandons a game, disconnect or aborts too often. If you do it too often you will get restricted. Until then it's not really much to worry about.

To get it at the start of the game is...unusual. I think they were winding you up.

@Scottrf, thanks. That may be the case, but what a weird way to try to wind someone up...

To be clear, when I say I abort a game, I am talking about doing so when my opponent is not making their FIRST move (which happens all too often). If I get an opponent who doesn't make their first move in a 5 minute game in about a minute, then I certainly feel aborting is fair. If their clock was running, I wouldn't care, but I have no way of knowing if they are AFK, narcoleptic, indecisive, or simply rude.

silly question but did you contact chess.com help and support?

http://support.chess.com/

If they do not make their first move doesnt it auto abort after like 30 sec or so?

@BryPin, nope, I thought that's what this was for. Thanks for the pointer, I will try that.

 @MichaelPorcelli, I dunno. It may auto abort if I wait long enough. I think I have waited well past 30 seconds without it auto-aborting though. I just found this thread and it seems that the auto-abort features may be experiencing adjustment or be buggy... (http://www.chess.com/forum/view/livechess/what-happened-to-automatic-abort)

Ah ok, then that would be annoying, I always wait for the auto abort and have not had a problem but I have not played much live chess in the last week or two 

They keep changing the rules.  Last I read it doesn't auto abort until half the allotted time has passed.  Who knows what  it is now.  

I've had people tell me they got that message about my play. I wrote to support and didn't get much of an answer. In my case, it's because I used up almost all of my time and the opponent had used very little. Perhaps they thought I was "stalling". In reality, they're often teaching games and we are discussing candidate moves, etc., while my clock is going. There are a multitude of silly reasons that message may be given out.

I think some of the above posters may have hit the nail on the head regArding aborting a game. My opponent just aborted a few minutes ago, most likely due to poor internet connection. This opponent and I play all the time and I know he wouldn't just abort yet I just received that message.

I have occasionally aborted a game when I've accidentally clicked the wrong game when I'm trying to respond to a seek. I usually write in the chat, "I'm terribly sorry. I accidentally accepted this when I meant to accept another seek. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience" and then I hit the abort. No doubt my opponent still gets the note about me violating the fair play policy. Thankfully it doesn't happen often and I think they may look for that pattern with multiple aborts, etc.

Your idea of aborting against an opponent who fails to make their first move promptly sits ill with the policy of the site ("fair play policy") which discourages intentionally disconnecting or aborting during a game.

For myself I am not sure I understand either your need to abort or the site's policy. But it is the proprietors' site so abiding by their policies seems like the thing to do.

Perhaps you could try not aborting for a bit and see how much grief it causes. If a lot you could make representations to the site. If, as I suspect would be the case, no grief your problem with the policy will have evaporated.

I think we are getting a bit off topic here, but..

I cannot agree. If my opponent is not making his first move, why should I waste 2.5 minutes of my day? If auto-abort kicked in after 30 seconds, I would happily wait it out, but half the alotted thinking time is simply too much.

I cannot understand the notion that I am somehow disrespecting my opponent by aborting a game when he is idling. If anything, it is the opponent that is being disrespectful (half the time I think it is technical problems) by starting a game and then wasting my time by idling.

In the other chess servers I have played on, your time often starts running as soon as the game starts. Also, before moving, you can abort without penalty. I like chess.com's policy of only starting the clock after the first move, but it does not work when you are also counting a fair use penalty for aborting on the first move.

What would you think if you were playing in an actual tournament, and your opponent was allowed to show up half the time control late for the round without penalty?

Also, as @baddogno says, it is not as though I knew about the auto-abort feature. There isn't any text or counter in live chess that tells you there is an auto-abort feature, much less when it kicks in. In that case, what is one to do when faced with a non-responsive opponent? Aborting is the only option.

I agree it is not a perfect system. I feel like everyone should get a limited number of aborts perday/per number of games

@MichaelPorcelli, that sounds very reasonable. For me, I only think I have aborted a game once every couple of weeks or so. It's a small fraction of my total games.

You know, it used to be if you didn't make your first move within ten seconds, it auto aborted. I wonder why they changed that? Perhaps too many auto aborts? I think 30 seconds is reasonable (albeit it might depend on the time control?).

Perhaps it has to do with whether they are a Premium member?  I read that there  is some sort of time out policy which is affected by the member status.

The only thing I know of is in online chess premium members vacation auto turns on, which is a great perk in my opinion. I know of no such thing in live chess though

I have never done live chess but do they have settings or is it all controlled from chess.com?