A brief summary - Chess Forums

red-lady

Mar 22, 2013

0

#1

For all those who are tired of answering the same questions over and over again. And especially to ensure a healthy and worthy future, without heart diseases, for people like IM Pfren, Estragon, PaulGottlieb,…

A short summary of the topics that keep coming back. Once you've found your answer, please don't ask the question again. Thank you.

What is the best opening? They are all good if you play them right.

What is the best opening for a beginner? Forget openings!

What is better, a knight or a bishop? A knight when you need a knight, a bishop when you need a bishop.

How can I improve? By practicing! It's not fair, but there is no other way.

Hello! Hello to you too.

I got kicked from live chess. Why? Behave yourself.

Who was better, Kasparov or Fischer? Does it matter? They will never play each other anyway.

Will Magnus Carlsen win the Candidates? Yes, he will.

Have I invented a new opening? No, you have not.

How much would you pay to play Kasparov? He won't play you. There is no point in asking.

My opponent said gg, what do I do? You say gg2.

x-5058622868

Mar 22, 2013

0

#2

What if my question isn't listed above? Is there a FAQ or help that you can give?

Stevie65

Mar 22, 2013

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#3

If your question isn't above, then you have imagination.

red-lady

Mar 22, 2013

0

#4

Sunshiny wrote:

What if my question isn't listed above? Is there a FAQ or help that you can give?

Sunny, if I had to make a list of all your questions, the server would crash. So, the answer is: NO

x-5058622868

Mar 22, 2013

0

#5

Oops. Sorry people. I never intended to cause all you wonderful people to disconnect and lose your chess games. I guess that answered that question.

Stevie65

Mar 22, 2013

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#6

I guess that would come under.." I got kicked from live chess"

x-5058622868

Mar 22, 2013

0

#7

See? You've got imagination too!

trysts

Mar 22, 2013

0

#8

These questions certainly cause heart disease. They also lead to cancer, car accidents, and suicide.

In December of 2006, the question concerning bishops or knights was the direct cause of hypothermia.

In April of 2008, four aspiring chess players were hospitalized following a question concerning the relation between chess and I.Q.

Last year, in what can only be described as an act of terrorism, 14 people suffered life-threatening injuries due to the question of women's ability to be able to play chess.

turamon

Mar 22, 2013

0

#9

lol I like topics like this ... how do you make sure that everyone who would ask this questions will find his/her way to this topic, red??

red-lady

Mar 22, 2013

0

#10

trysts wrote:

These questions certainly cause heart disease. They also lead cancer, car accidents, and suicide.

In December of 2006, the question concerning bishops or knights was the direct cause of hypothermia.

In April of 2008, four aspiring chess players were hospitalized following a question concerning the relation between chess and I.Q.

Last year, in what can only be described as an act of terrorism, 14 people suffered life-threatening injuries due to the question of women's ability to be able to play chess.

I want to be the last one to post here Before I crash, that is...

trysts

Mar 22, 2013

0

#11

Conflagration_Planet

Mar 22, 2013

0

#12

I heard Kasparov would play you for $5,000.

Gilded_Candlelight

Mar 22, 2013

0

#13

Yes, but what is the best opening for beginners?

No, I kid, I can read. Clearly 1.h3 is the best opening. No one sees that coming. How does black defend? Impossible.

But what to do if you are black you say? Resign immediately. There is no point in trying to take on such a strong position as h3. My book will be coming out shortly.

NM ozzie_c_cobblepot

Mar 23, 2013

0

#14

You may not have invented a new opening, but you may have invinted one...

cabadenwurt

Mar 24, 2013

0

#15

Thanks to the OP for starting this interesting topic.

Let me just add: Long Live " The Cabadenwurt Defence ! " ( which I have " invinted " of course as per post #5 in my thread on " having invented nothing " ).

Wolfbird

Mar 27, 2013

0

#16

AND: Do I say "thank you," when my opponent gives me his Queen for no good reason?

turamon

Mar 28, 2013

0

#17

lol

yes and do always offer a draw in a lost position instead of resigning!!

Dischyzer

May 9, 2013

0

#18

This should always be at the top of "(insert flamey thing)Todays Hot Topics " whether or not it gets any posts.

It would be a preemptive strike to many posters.

Head them off at the pass.

Cliffnote's "Forum edition".

"Forum Topics for Dummies"