Actually help me/give advice, in real life

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MEXIMARTINI
Ahhh well ok. What I also saw in his assessment (the part where you quoted) he said to let it go. I jumped on that.
And I could care less how old
You think I am based on my comments. Honestly, I feel this kid has left out some very important parts in his story. We need to hear her side of this. That’s when it will get real juicy.
MEXIMARTINI
Also, there are some things you can learn by not doing, lol such as, don’t text.
rdmccarthy

Ignore all these fools telling you to forget dating at your age. You'll have loves you remember for your entire life at your age. It's really important to be sincere and honest but also level headed... failure and mistakes will stay with you throughout your whole 20s.... so, no pressure. 

Just be upfront and brave. Tell her how you feel and be clear - being bold and clear will be refreshing for someone in your age group. 

If it's a no from her - quite simply, accept it. You can always try a romantic gesture or whatever, write her a letter, etc. Some couples enjoy a good chase, bit of courting ya know... but respect her final word and don't bloody beg.

Finally - you are young and have a million triumphs and heartbreaks in front of you. I suggest that like all 17 year olds you should invest your full heart and soul into any relationship you have, but remember deep down that it is temporary. Enjoy the ride, act like a gentleman, have your heart crushed into a thousand tiny pieces and put it back together again. One day you will be discussing what's for dinner with a future love, or arguing about what sofa to get. Being a teenager and in love is a unique thing you can only do for a short time - so don't blink! 


MEXIMARTINI

Backstreet98

i am sure that that girl is made chess id to watch u . be carefull lol

Nkai20

I'm the messenger of love (in a dark knight armor) don't listen to the messengers of apathy and cynism.

People are mentally at different places in different periods of time, maybe after this time she'll want to talk to you again, but won't call you thinking you have move on, or maybe she's the one that has move on.

But if you don't text her, you'll never know. And that "maybe" will be like a parasitic worm in your insides, eating you slowly and painfully till everything that remains of you is an empty shell of loneliness and despair.

AthenaTheChessCub
xXQueen_Of_ChessXx wrote:
  • She left without saying goodbye. Maybe this is a sign that she doesn’t care about me.

I know how that feels. Sorta. On the day my crush left, he just texted me “goodbye.” And that’s it. I regret not accepting his FaceTime request....

  • Quite possibly she wanted to say goodbye, but she felt insecure about herself and was afraid you'll get mad at her for leaving, I think you text her, but if she doesn't respond just leave her 
ry_p
AthenaTheChessCub wrote:
xXQueen_Of_ChessXx wrote:
  • She left without saying goodbye. Maybe this is a sign that she doesn’t care about me.

I know how that feels. Sorta. On the day my crush left, he just texted me “goodbye.” And that’s it. I regret not accepting his FaceTime request....

  • Quite possibly she wanted to say goodbye, but she felt insecure about herself and was afraid you'll get mad at her for leaving, I think you text her, but if she doesn't respond just leave her 

No, he told me he was leaving a couple months back. I feel like he was mad at me for not not responding to his calls and only calling his sister...I miss him a lot

tcferg
MEXIMARTINI wrote:

She left your job with a two weeks notice and not once told you before she left.  Your relationship dwindled before this and you are going to text her?  Why?  She obviously dgaf and even though you do, don't text her.  Let her be.  You'll run into her sometime face to face and that's when you can say something.  DON'T TEXT.   cheers.

 

You're likely right that she's just not interested.  But this young guy is having angst over all this and is struggling to just let it go.  If he doesn't text her, that's gonna continue.  If he sends a single, casual text and she doesn't reply, it could help him move on (with pain, but no regrets).  And who knows, she might reply and he can take it from there.

@Mako_Cat - per my earlier suggestion, keep the text simple and casual and make it more about her than you (i.e. "hope you're doing well, send me a text if you'd like to catch up ...").  Avoid anything like "I wish you'd said goodbye" or "I miss you" or "I ..."

Best of luck to you.  

rosie467

I think you should ask her that she why doing this! Good luck!

TheBestBeer_Root
MEXIMARTINI wrote:
bbmaxwell wrote:
MEXIMARTINI wrote:
Mako_Cat wrote:

I am quite independent and planning to leave my parents shortly after I can. Nothing against them, I just want to be independent. I am worried about them though. That’s what I’m saying. If we do fall in love, and an outside force (my parents) stop us from being together. Thus me hurting her which is the last thing I want. But I think I will text her. I think it’s the right thing to do. I just need to get enough courage to do it tomorrow 😁

 

She left your job with a two weeks notice and not once told you before she left.  Your relationship dwindled before this and you are going to text her?  Why?  She obviously dgaf and even though you do, don't text her.  Let her be.  You'll run into her sometime face to face and that's when you can say something.  DON'T TEXT.   cheers.

A text is harmless.

Don't text "OMG I love you and want to marry you"

Do text something like what the other guy said. "I wish we could have talked before you left, I was hoping we'd stay friends / hang out" and then after you reestablish contact in non creepy way, you can try to make the relationship more serious.

But also as that guy said, pay attention to her reply and take a hint... if she's not interested then she's not interested.

 

NOPE.   don't even text.  her replies have been spoken by her actions already.    and texts are not harmless.  

I totally agree.

....and lol spot on #143😂

TheBestBeer_Root

.....as mexi pointed out she clearly brought to attention her no interest any longer when she hadn’t let the poor dude know she gave her two weeks notice. He just brought to you best advice for keeping from any further unfair feelings.

XavisDOS
MEXIMARTINI wrote:
bbmaxwell wrote:
MEXIMARTINI wrote:
Mako_Cat wrote:

I am quite independent and planning to leave my parents shortly after I can. Nothing against them, I just want to be independent. I am worried about them though. That’s what I’m saying. If we do fall in love, and an outside force (my parents) stop us from being together. Thus me hurting her which is the last thing I want. But I think I will text her. I think it’s the right thing to do. I just need to get enough courage to do it tomorrow 😁

 

She left your job with a two weeks notice and not once told you before she left.  Your relationship dwindled before this and you are going to text her?  Why?  She obviously dgaf and even though you do, don't text her.  Let her be.  You'll run into her sometime face to face and that's when you can say something.  DON'T TEXT.   cheers.

A text is harmless.

Don't text "OMG I love you and want to marry you"

Do text something like what the other guy said. "I wish we could have talked before you left, I was hoping we'd stay friends / hang out" and then after you reestablish contact in non creepy way, you can try to make the relationship more serious.

But also as that guy said, pay attention to her reply and take a hint... if she's not interested then she's not interested.

 

NOPE.   don't even text.  her replies have been spoken by her actions already.    and texts are not harmless.  

If you are going to text don't say ANYTHING about friends and stuff like that, just chat grin.png

XavisDOS

There is so much debate here so just go with your gut

Nkai20

Exactly, there are any GoldFishes but not so many Koi Fishes, if Topic Starter has found one, he better have no regrets about the Koi

TheHarbingerOfDoom
I would leave it mate. If she liked you you would know by now. You don’t want to end up like a stalker or cause her to have to lie to you in order to spare you feelings by telling you she’s a lesbian/moving to Australia/can’t be in a relationship as she is a spy/can’t be in a relationship because she is Donald trumps bit on the side.

Or even worse she could be brutally honest with you. Either way it won’t end well for you
cobujuanpro
catmaster0 wrote:
ExploringWA wrote:
psychohist wrote:
ExploringWA wrote:
hvenki wrote:
ExploringWA wrote:
At 17 you should be concentrating on your future. Graduate, go to college, get a job, buy a house, then worry about relationships. Until then, don’t force it. I’ve never seen a happy couple where they have to force a relationship to work. You will never be happy. Walk away. Don’t get me wrong, relationships take work, but it is work on both sides. Until you reach your goals, keep dating simple and don’t force a single relationship. The right one will be obvious when the time is right.

your probs still single

No, I’ve been married to this one for 20 years. Today is the 20th anniversary of our first date. We were married four months later. We’ve raised our kids, and have four grandkids with a fifth on the way. 

While I agree with your advice, if you already have four grandkids after only 20 years, I guess I'm surprised your kids managed to buy houses so fast.

My oldest son and my daughter both spent 8 years in the military. My youngest married his high school sweetheart. My youngest is 30. My oldest grandchild is 9. There are some more figures for your equation. 

So you had all the kids before you met your current spouse?

me not good At giving advice

josephyossi

text her

EamonB1
Mako_Cat wrote:

God I feel like an idiot lol...

Welp, as someone else said…. “I guess its come to this. Asking for life advice on a chess website.”

I have a problem that I need advice from other people. Sorry about the length,but if you would just read through it all and give me your opinion, I would be very thankful.

I guess I’ll start from the beginning (Always a good place to start lol). As many of you know, I am 17 years old and have worked at a KFC/Taco Bell for about 15 months now. Well, long story short, there was this girl who her and I got along well. Around February was the best time when we even went to a school dance together. From there though things started getting.... awkward. We started talking less and less. The last thing we ever texted was about 2 months ago which was a date she mysteriously canceled. Since then we’ve seen each other at work once a week but we hardly say any words.

Well comes this part… On Friday she wasn’t at work. When I asked about it, I found out that she had quit (to go to a better paying job). She had given our boss the needed 2 week advanced warning that she was going to quit. But she never told me she was planning to quit. Thursday was her last day working.

So now I have a choice

  1. Text her something (After not talking to her for a couple months)

  2. Don’t text her and never see her again

The Facts:

  • Do I love her: Probably not. Do I like her: 12/10. Want I want though is for our relationship to grow

  • She left without saying goodbye. Maybe this is a sign that she doesn’t care about me.

  • If I text her:

    • Best Case: Obvious

    • Middle Case: Nothing happens. Same as if I didn’t text her

    • Worst Case: My parents are quite strict and would be very hesitant to let me go on any dates. If we do start talking and then my parents don’t let me ever see each other, then we both leave sad

SO THE QUESTION IS: Do I

  1. Text her. And if so what do I text her

  2. Not text her and never see or speak to her again

Go ask about this on r/teenagers or something. Trust me, I know from experience that a bunch of chess players can't help you solve your relationship problems.

fuhumansck
SHE DON’T CARE