Anger Management for Chess.com Members

There's something else than anonymity going. I'm thinking there's a certain kind of stress when we're online for a while. Like being stuck in traffic; the adrenaline doesn't mix well with frustration.

Why does frustration build? Maybe because everything looks so promising, but everything is empty. I often get that feeling when turning of the laptop for the night; "jeez, what a waste of time."

it's like a total bunch of strangers walking into a bar with conflicting views about everything. after a while they begin to realize others don't agree with them, then instead of leaving they stick around to try to win as many arguments as they can.

That is a good analogy Goody. Humans are social animals. From what I have witnessed in the forums, people drop from a conversation space into an emotional space quite quickly.

Then it tends to get personal. Off the issue/topic & ad hominem attacks occur. Like you say it can become like a bar brawl - but in a verbal sense.  

Use it all Ersten as fuel for a different type of fire. Discrimination is knowing what is a waste of time & what needs to be done.

I have 2 weeks left in the forums before 'practice season' kicks in. 

How long have you got left? 

Frustration builds when no one actually "listens." This is why I prefer the company of animals. They are oftentimes more civil and much less self-centered and they listen to every word I say.

Haha. Yep.

Thanks KT, that is kind of you to say.

We try to use humour here besides other civil methods to try to deal with anger. We don't deny anger, we just try & work with it a little.  

@Mex (#93):

Fantastico mate. That resigned, half-smile at the end is spot on!

Yeah, I have a 2 week weening off period from the forums Ghosty myself. Have learnt a lot from them. However............well you know how it is. If you have the right group though, you can learn together respectfully, some of your threads proved that.  

Thanks Ghostliner! we've all been there haven't we!?  haha

*this was put on another thread, so if you have already read it, ignore it here*

                          Different Faces

How many men/woman can one person be in a single lifetime? How many accounts can one person have on chess.com? Quite a few, so it seems.

However for those who are aware, there will be notable patterns. Cues & clues left in their wake, or seen on the dross they leave behind on threads.  Residual emotional scars & negativity that cannot help but spill out & contaminate everything & everyone they come into contact with.

They have a tendency to think that no one will pick up on them having multiple accounts, under different names & personalities. 

Friend or foe, it does not matter, in the end they will maliciously attack you, from one or another of their accounts. 

In the past people such as these were called 'multiple personality disorder'. Now they are are labelled as having dissociate identity disorder.

In layman's terms it is often known as a split personality.

Why does this occur with some people?

Well, some violent, traumatic, painful experience from the past is too severe to be assimilated into his/her conscious self.

You have to have empathy with these types of people, they suffer terribly from their wounding.

However, be aware that often times they exhibit aggressive behavior, they will attack you sooner or later.

Unfortunate for them, they end up alienating people. So no one tends to go near them in the end.

They have the habit though of stalking people who challenge them. Like a wounded animal they tend to be like rabid dogs on the revenge hunt.

Watch out for them, they are said to be in Southern Europe, but also in the USA & many other places. It depends which of their personalities surfaces.

Often times they are on the prowl on chess.com looking for their next victim.

So beware & take care!!!  

Post 71 absolutely brilliant, put a big smile on my face as I'm sure it's the face of an 'Obnoxious thread' regular poster  You're right about the tone and abusive nature of some of the posts allowed on here, especially as they appear to clearly contravene decency. 

I'd imagine that some customers are shocked by such language as they may not be used to such vile behaviour, and possibly cease being customers.  This is something I'd have thought that admin would be concerned about as it's easier to keep existing customers rather than recruit new people.  Do others here think that the people who post such offensive stuff have a real problem; should they be more pitied than scolded?

  I wonder if the abusers, and that's what they are, behave like this in 'real life', and if so do they spend too much time in A+E?  Are their head injuries incurred due to their abusive nature the reason to make them such disgusting specimens of humanity who attempt to bully people who disagree with them?  Maybe there's another reason that a qualified person could offer as to why nature, or society, creates such abominations?

WK  says it very well, here above FP.

It is all quite fascinating though.

You can pick up some people's emotional pattens from 1,000's of miles away & not ever meet them.

So is the internet cathartic?  

Possibly.  Maybe they have to pretend to be normal in their daily lives, concealing all that bile and hatred for those they consider 'lower' than themselves. Though most of us feel compassion for those less fortunate than ourselves, so the feeling of obvious contempt that they have should possibly be explored.  Do they feel that they should be further 'up the ladder' so pour scorn on others in temper and frustration at their own lack of progress?

nik, that gif is hypnotizing.

Yes it draws you in Wolfbird. More hypnosis here.

https://www.chess.com/forum/view/off-topic/a-vegas-biker-villain-by-gif-studios

But takes awhile to load, particularly page 5.

I think I overloaded it, so take several mins to kick in