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Chesswoman
Chesswoman
Mar 3, 2013
0
#1

An intelligent wife

''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"
 
 

New SIM to surprise her husband

Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband
Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number:
"Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone:
"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
 
  

Cool message by a wife

Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
 
 
 

Sweet demand by kid

A kid was beaten by his mom. Dad came n asked - what happened son?       
Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore, I want my own.
 
 

Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on tourist's wife.       
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!          
Husband: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
 
 

Throwing knives on wife's picture

Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture. All were missing the target!   
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"   
His honest reply, "MISSING U"
 
 

I will think about it

When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that, He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..
 
 

Habit of talking in sleep

A Lady to Doctor:    
My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure? 
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake
 
 
  

Part & Art of living

Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
 

 

Head & Neck of the family

It is said that Husband is the head of the family, but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.
 
 

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Wife: Do you want dinner?  
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?        
Wife: Yes and no.
 
 

What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?

What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?     
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
 
 

To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.     
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"      
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"
 
 

I look at your picture and the problem disappears

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?        
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? 
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
 
 

Wife: honey what r u looking 4?

Wife: honey, what r u looking 4?      
Husband: nothing
Wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?            
Husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date
 
 

Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
 
It means ...
Without Information, Fighting Every time!
 
WIFE says: No darling, it means:     
With Idiot For Ever
 
 

Wife wish 2 be a newspaper

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day.
 
 

Can I make a call to my wife?

A man in Hell asked Devil:    
Can I make a call to my Wife?          
After making call he asked how much to pay.          
Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
 
 

 

Husband, wife & spare tyre

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle.
If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further
Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE ....
 
 

Similarity between chewing gum & begum

What's the similarity between chewing gum & begum (wife) ??      
Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and chipku (sticky) in the end...
 
 

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:           
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.           
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.
 
 

What if you don't see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.         
His wife yelled:         
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"     
The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'!    
Monday passed and he didn’t see her......   
Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....      
On Thursday his swelling became better     
And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.
 
 

Who is guilty (Husband / Wife)?

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts:
"Up! Quick! My husband is back!"
Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes:
"Damn, I am the husband!"
 
 

Why women starts with W

You know why women starts with 'W'...       
because all questions start with "W".. !       
Who ?          
Why ?           
What ?         
When ?        
Which ?        
Whom ?       
Where ?       
&
Finally Wife..!!!
 
 

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt, Tsunamis to devastate, Hurricanes to sway around
and no one teaches How to choose a Wife,
 NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN
 
 

Crazychessplaya
Crazychessplaya
Mar 3, 2013
0
#2

Neck of the family, LOL!