be yourself

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Tomlight
I have to start work but I'm really tired. Eight days a week is not enough to show I care. I've worked seven.
ilikewindmills
http://genius.com/Twenty-one-pilots-kitchen-sink-lyrics

Listen to this song. It helps.
ilikewindmills
It explains why you shouldn't kill yourself pretty much.
Tomlight
Thank you.

I think most people want other people to be happy. I do.

I struggle to get things right a lot though. I can be very offensive.

I trust that I care though. I see we naturally care.

We just get upset and lose sight of our innate tendency to care.
Tomlight
Is there a song to explain why I should kill myself?
ilikewindmills
Well, yes, I think.
Tomlight
I'm okay with being me. I know I mean well. I can exist.

I just see the whole thing as ultimately futile and that depresses me. It all amounts to nothing.
ilikewindmills
But don't die. Tom, try to stay.
ilikewindmills
Yeah, I see it like that sometimes. Just wait. Opportunity comes to you.
Tomlight
I think I'm here for the year. On this thread. I'll refresh it every 2000 posts though.
Tomlight
I just think you live you die. There's no point to any of it.
ilikewindmills
I'm in Stage 2 right now. Having an existential crisis. Stage 3 (Trying to sleep more) is usually next.
ilikewindmills
Then I'll go crazy. It cycles around. I try to avoid here when I'm crazy but on New Year it slipped through haha.
Tomlight
You know this idea life is fair? Some people cling to it.

Life isn't fair.

Maybe it's the same with this meaning of life thing.

We want life to have a beautiful meaning. That's fair.

There isn't anything like that. It all just is.

Pleasure pain it just all exists.
Tomlight
On this thread crazy is better! You can find your sanity here.
ilikewindmills
There is no point, but you can make a point. Make something, paint something, do anything, even if it seems pointless, and think, 'I should stay because I'm the only person who knows what it means'
Tomlight
Maybe that's the key.

We have to accept the fact that just as life isn't fair neither is death.

None of this is truly fair.
ilikewindmills
Life isn't fair. I agree. I also think beauty is internal. You say you want a beautiful meaning, but everything is beautiful in its own way. They say beauty is pain, because they take the 'beauty in everything' and 'pain is in everything' idea to be connected. They're not.
Tomlight
That's sweet I like. You've a poetry to your soul. A creator. An artist. Perfect for here. I hope Carolina stays. She's the same.
ilikewindmills
Maybe beauty is pain, no pain no gain, you see... I disagree usually, with the whole dieting concept when it's not necessary. Maybe pain is beauty though.