Bird Attacks (roleplay)

*KSCHHH* THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 

BIRD ATTACKS HAVE BEEN OCCURING FOR 15 MINUTES AS OF THIS STATEMENT. OVER 140 FATALITIES HAVE BEEN REPORTED. SEEK SHELTER AND PROTECT YOURSELF. THEY ARE CLEARLY ORGANIZING THEMSELVES FOR A COORDINATED ASSAULT. THE ORIGINS OF THESE BIRDS ARE UNKNOWN BUT THEY CONSIST OF VARIOUS SPECIES; MOST PREDOMINANTLY, GEESE. BIRD ATTACKS HAVE BEEN OCC- *kschhhhhhhh* *radio silence*

Outside, a flock of falcons and hawks dive towards the peaceful suburb. We must defend our building

This could be interesting... I'll wait to comment until more people join...

I call bs. Everyone knows birds aren’t real.

bump!

“Is this them getting back at us for the countless times we attacked them with boulders? Are they angry about their homes being destroyed? Whatever it may be, we — horrible creatures — likely deserve to die by their wings.”

"Yeah, u can die if u want... I Won't go down without a fight!!!!!!!"

"I have talked to the birds before. They are insightful in their wisdom, in their resolve. They are a sleeping giant, with one mind and one body. They are wise, and we are idiots. They are strong, and we are weak. There is no hope in fighting the birds. Here comes judgment day. The birds are cawing."

"Perhaps the best strategy is to appease them," *Looks thoughtfully* "Maybe they are mad cause Elon changed the name and logo of twitter."

“Their motives are not comprehensible to our weak minds”, I say blankly. Don’t even bother seriously trying to find out what they want.”

Blood and birds fill the streets.

”The birds are cawing.”

"They have awakened, they have awakened, and they commune with us. They spill our blood, our paint over the canvas of this world, and it is a glorious work indeed."

"Are you a psychopath! Whose side are you on!"

Alright there’s a tv here let’s see what’s on

EAS ANNOUNCEMENT THE BIRDS APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN GENETICALLY MODIFIED TO ATTACK HUMANS AND HAVE BEEN IMPLANTED WITH AI MICROCHIPS. MORE ATTACKS HAVE BEEN REPORTED. THERE ARE NOW 30 CONFIRMED AIRLINE CRASHES DUE TO THESE BIRD ATTACKS AND CASUALTIES HAVE SOARED TO 4000. THIS IS AN INTERNATIONAL EMERGENCY. MILITARY ACTION IS NOW UNDERWAY. IF NECESSARY, USE FIREARMS, PREFERABLY SHOTGUNS, TO DEFEND YOURSELVES. AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS.

This is bad… really bad.

I know that I stockpiled miscellaneous supplies in the basement over the last 5 years.

“Dirty liars. This is them speaking to us!”

I do not realize that this is not them speaking to us.