Chess Koans

Guru grandmother greets group goofiness graciously.

Greetings to You All! -- from your humble forum founder, MIL

I bring you news from my pilgrimage -- a recent spiritual retreat high in the mountains of northern New Mexico, where I spent a fortnight immersing myself fully in the mystical teachings of the Anastasi, a mysterious, but deeply venerated, ancient Native American civilization.  Now I feeI ready to share what I can of my newfound wisdom with any of my loyal koanheads who wish to further their own spiritual journeys by reaching out to take a sip from the cup of enlightenment. 

Thank you. I will.  Then later, after I get up, I'll tell you the secret of life.  ***Spoiler alert: it's chapstick.

Koans make you think.  An apparent burning ring of coals twisted into something -- either a figure 8 or the outline of some eyeglasses(?) -- well, that can make you think, too.   

I did think about it for awhile, but then, my head started to hurt.  Does that mean "it's working?"  Ommmm.

How can infinity burn (presumably  infinitely) without running out of fuel?  Discuss.

Hmmm .....what can I say?   It's all Greek to me .... ;-D

MIL feels fine.  She seems to be coping reasonably well with the inevitable challenges presented by that gradual attrition in neurological network functionality that's been observed in the elderly population so commonly as to be considered almost universal.  Aside from that, her only unusual recently developed symptom consists of a rather odd compulsion to compose unnecessarily lengthy, excessively wordy responses, replete with redundancies, whenever she's presented with a simple, friendly, social inquiry.   So how are you?

That was deeply odd.

Hard to know for sure at this point.  Time will tell.

A student of Tarrasch and a student of Nimzovich were standing at the edge of a small park, watching the patzers playing chess. After a while, the student of Tarrasch shook his head and said "Pawns should always remain in line abreast". The student of Nimzovich replied "My Pawns lust to expand".

The student of Tarrasch glanced at him skeptically and said "But you aren't a Pawn... how would YOU know what a Pawn wants to do?"

The student of Nimzovich smiled and replied "But you aren't me! How would you know whether I know how Pawns feel?"

And then he walked away...

No.  But if you get in a debate about pawns with a student of Nimzovich, he'll defeat you with logic and then just walk away, and leave you standing there looking like a fool.

The best chess koan I know is: "If you never again play those you lose against, you will eventually always be the winner."

Chess Koans ....aka "Meditate on this." 

1.  What is the sound of one chess player snapping? 

2.  If a chess player loses focus in a game because he lets his opponent draw him into an argument, is that called "taking debate?"  

3.  Would any chess player care enough about this topic to meditate on it?  -- especially anyone who "had a life?"  ....Ommmm

"What is life?"  In the wise words of one yogi, "Each life is a picnic basket.  Some baskets are heavy (filled to the brim with pheasants, truffles and Chateau La Tour).  while others are light (2 baloney sandwiches and some ants).  Which to choose?  It depends.  How much can Yogi  bear?

"How much can Yogi Bear? " One hopes this koan continues to occupy the minds of readers of this forum.  Deep meditation on this particular koan has been the key to enlightenment for many kinds of chess players -- mostly the online kind.

Dear Wisdom-Seeker,

"Mouse Hunting?"  Allow me to suggest that In your quest for enlightenment, you might consider eschewing, at least for a time, the vicious and violent "hobby" of chasing, tormenting, and biting into the tiny little itsy-bitsy bodies of innocent little teeny weeny members of the often-maligned Phylum Chordata, Class Mammalia, Order Rodentia, Familia Mouseyus (Sp?).

On the other hand, you are a cat.  So do what you want to.  It's none of my business, I guess.

Ommm,

Your Guru Forumi

Thank you, woolly.  

(ah! ... and now, the recruitment for my cult .... er ....my "Philosophical Discussion Group" ... has begun!)

What if I offer every new member a tote bag?

Have just returned from a sabbatical.  Wang Haoing was fun. 

Have been on another sabbatical.  Returned to discover, to my great distress, that Bishop has been rolling around on floor for more than 2 weeks.  Please, please - I urge you to feel free to get Up now, and go on with your life.... all is well .... Ommm.