....to have the courage to be just like Tia. She liked Tia. She even admired her....to the point of jealousy sometimes. She'd never let their friendship dissolve, even after Tia sl*pt w/ Cookie's (Almonda Fortuna) brother Marco. Marco was Kitty's first....and Tia knew that. But, that didn't stop Tia....oh no. But alas, that was Tia.
Kitty had actually walked in - in broad daylight ! on Tia and Marco drenched in sweat in the throes of....
agony..
Kitty, after finding out Marco had b*d-hopped, had Marco medievally racked. She remembers a blood-curtling moaning coming from Tia's bungalow basement and decided to....
revisit the basement and see what was still down there. "I can't see anything", Kitty hollered from the dark as she was led dowstairs by
....Pinky and the Brain. As Pinky led by tippy-toeing down, Brain partially looked back and asked, "Kitty, are you pondering what I'm pondering ?" Kitty responded, "I think so Brain, but....but, we're already naked".
As Pinky toed the very last creaky wooden stair....
Kitty yanked him hard by the arm, "Watch out, Pinky!" They all froze at once, mouths gaping at what used to be the basement floor but had become
a very dry-looking form of quicksand. Brain quickly removed an hourglass for refill from his satchel. Brain, in anger, had poured out the hourglass sand weeks b4 'cuz it made him late for a cheez-sampling extravaganza. Kitty stood at the bottom stair w/ them naked and afraid. Pinky, not being particularily bright, bent down and scooped some n2 his hand and tasted it. Of all things !....It tasted like....
sugar! Pinky began shoveling fistfuls of sugary sand into his mouth when suddenly something very big started moving along the
(OMG....I'm laffing so much my eyes are watering....TY Wally - you've made my day !)
(LOL I know, these stories become so ridiculous it's too funny!)
A huge cricket. "I don't feel Nof! *cricket* so good Brain," , as Pinky could barely eek out a sentence and began wobbling until
....the naked Kitty maneuvered behind him for one of her world-famous Heimlich Extractions. She carried him up the wooden stairs to the lawn outside and force-burped outta him the cricket, (3) cricket balls, (2) french hens, and a cricket bat from a pear tree.
As all the neighbors gathered about whispering from the commotion, Kitty suddenly realized she wasn't wearing any....
(p.s. - we Crucians lub da Cricket game !....)
contact lenses! How she had made this far without them was a mystery, which Brain stood ready to explain:
Brian gathered everyone in the neighborhood around and started to explain... "as you can see Kitty has very small ears so she can't wear glasses.. they keep falling off"!
"So why isn't Kitty wearing contact lenses"? Everyone cried.
"Because she'd forget her own name if it wasn't sewed in her knicker lining"! Brian replied.
Everyone laughed at Kitty's stupidity and walked away laughing..
This had hurt her feelings..
"Don't worry Kitty they're not so smart themselves," said Brian in a consoling voice.
"I was wearing your knickers so I'm not surprised you forgot to put your contact lenses in"!
"Never mind" I have another plan... "We'll sneak into...
The Secretary of State's office so I can legally change my name back to "Brain". I shall hack into the computer database and begin my concealed plot of
taking over the World's YMCA's. I'll employ especially-bred angry unicorns and pixie police who carry oingo-boingo slinkies meant to hypnotize anyone trying to say no to my plans for domination. Let's see....the password to hack in is....let's see....it's ahhh....
"Smurf Soup!" Gargamel yelled from the crowd. "Smurf Soup is the password, and it's also what I'll be having for dinner once I get my hands on those mind-controlling slinkies! Mwahhhh haaa haa!!!" Brain wasn't sure how he felt about
How last time Tia pulled one of these stunts she ended in the middle of Paris with no pants on. Kitty Kaboodle urged Tia to stop drinking, but a part of her also wanted