Creative suggestive / erotic sentences using chess-related words

Just like my username..be creative, but not too overt to get banned!

I start with one:

I am sure I would get pinned and forked if I play with someone over 2000 rated.

I wanna screw you in your backrank. 

I wanna screw you in your backrank. 

A backrank mate is not easy, you need to be an experienced player for that..start with some easier tactics.

I wanna screw you in your backrank. 

Backrank mate is the final part of the combination..

I wanna screw you in your backrank. 

If you feel your backrank is vulnerable or exposed, take steps to protect it..many people cant visualize that their backrank is vulnerable, and are taken by surprise 

Enough of backrank i think, haha