Does anyone dare challenge me in ping pong?

Yes, I’m looking for a bit of competition. Here I am, lonely in the Marriot, waiting for someone to challenge me. Today, I’m looking for someone to compete with in a ping pong match, since I’ve beaten everyone else. But before we get to the present, let’s go through my life story with the beautiful sport of ping pong.
It was over 4 years ago when I saw ping pong for the first time. I was watching the Olympics with my parents like anyone else, and suddenly ping pong appeared on the screen. Mesmerized by this, I watch intently as two guys hit a white ball across a table to the other side. I remember being so distracted that I completely disregarded the fact that people were trying to talk to me. They even tried to switch it to the 100m dash finals, in which I screamed at them to turn ping pong back on. I guess I had fallen in love with the sport.
Fast forward a year. I’m 11 years old, and my family and I are taking a weeklong vacation to see some family, including my grandparents and my cousins that I hadn’t seen in a while. I fly in, and they pick us up at the airport. We get to their house, and I notice something immediately. A majestic blue ping pong table in the corner of the room. I start daydreaming about being an Olympic ping pong player for a second before my brother shakes me awake and tells me to help with the luggage. I ask if I can play somebody in ping pong, but everyone says it’s too late. So, I brush my teeth with overly minty toothpaste and go to sleep for the night. I dream about ping pong and sleep quite well.
I woke up the next morning at around 8 am. I have a nice breakfast filled with creamy and fluffy Belgian waffles with an assortment of fruits. I even had orange juice that day, which tasted exquisite and made me feel fancy. But of course, I wasn’t focused on the breakfast and the orange juice, and more so on the task at hand. Beating my whole family in ping pong that day. My cousins were supposed to get here in a few hours, where I could say hello. We would all chat, before playing some ping pong. So, a few hours later, there’s a ring at the doorbell. I said hello to my cousins and my aunt and uncle that I hadn’t seen in a while. We caught up and talked for a bit, before I grew impatient and interrupted everyone speaking to challenge everyone to ping pong. The kids agree to play, while the adults continue talking on the couch like old people. I start against my little sister, who’s four years younger than me. I destroy her, and she is unable to even get a point. Well actually, since my parents told me to “go easy” on her, or something, I ended up gifting her a point at the end of the match. 11-1 basix. I play my youngest cousin, who’s the same age. He puts up a fair fight by slamming the ball as hard as he could a few times, but I manage to beat him. 11-4 basix. I then play my younger brother, who’s just two years younger than me. He does well, but he smashes the ball over the table too many times to compete well. 11-7 basix. I then have to face my older cousin. He was twelve at the time, whereas I was only eleven. It was a fairly close match at the start, but then he started finding the corners, leaving me scrabbling and allowing him to hit it hard to the other. 11-7, but not basix. This was my first and last ping-pong loss of my entire career. I can still remember the “Basix, give your paddle to someone else, I need some competition”, and the “Hey, relax, go easier on him next time” of my aunt. After this, I start to tear up but stop myself. After such an embarrassing loss, I do not play any more ping pong during this trip, with the exception of playing my little sister for the gratification of winning.
The vacation ends a week after that day. I went home sad because of my loss, and I found it impossible to enjoy myself after that day. After a few weeks, I decided it was silly to be this down after losing ping pong. Still, I found it was necessary to train so that I could beat him the next time I went over there, whenever that would be. I work hard by mowing lawns and raking leaves to save up all of my money for a regulation ping pong table. I played whenever I could, whether against the wall, myself, or someone from the local recreation center. I played nonstop for 2 years. I won a few tournaments around my community, I beat all of my friends, teachers, and everyone else who dared to play me. I wasn’t even sure if I would ever get to play my cousin ever again, but I wanted to be prepared if I did. I begged my parents to let me go see them, but they said we didn’t have time. But, just this week, they said that we were going to Hawaii for a vacation! I was so excited about this, and immediately packed my stuff, and folded my clothes into my bag.
I was sure to bring four ping pong paddles, just in case. I take a very long flight to Hawaii and ride a boat to the island, watching someone throw up from seasickness right beside me. We go get our rental car and head up to the extremely fancy Marriot hotel we will be staying in for a week or so. We check-in, and I grab some fancy water with fruit in it! While my parents are checking us in, and using their points, I overhear this. “So, the pool is on floor 2, along with the fitness room you’ll have with your stay. There is a game room with a ping-pong table and a pool table on floor 3 if you’re interested. There will be a free break-”. I spat out my water and sprinted up to the room (Well, as fast as the elevator went) to put my stuff away, so that I could go to floor 3 to check out the room. It was about 9 pm, and a few players were playing in the room, and a few people playing pool in the corner. I asked if I could play the winner of two players playing, as they looked to be taking the game extremely seriously. They nodded their heads, both locked in on the white ball they were playing with. When they finally ended, I got my chance to play. This guy is about 17 years old, with a full mustache and facial hair all around. He serves it quickly, and I return a rocket to the corner. The game is back and forth, but I remain a fair margin ahead of him the entire game. It’s game point 1t 20-16, and I serve it hard to the middle and then send it back to the right. I say my “good game”, and realize there’s someone else wanting to play. This guy is a fair bit older, seeming to be in his mid-20s. He starts off with a “You look pretty good, kid. But can you beat me?” And, it turned out I could. All of my ping-pong training against the wall had helped me to this point. I was beating players with ease before I had to call it a night and get some sleep for the next day.
I woke up around 7:30 that day, eager to taste the indescribable taste of hotel breakfast and apple juice. I had a lot of blueberry muffins and fruit and even a waffle from the waffle maker that I failed miserably to make. Around 9:00, we go down to the beach, where I would have a nice time getting splashed around by the waves and peeing in the ocean. I did get bit by a “man of war” in a very unfortunate spot that day.
But that night, after I ate at around 8:00, I went back to the game room. There were many more people today, and it was fairly busy. I had to wait around 30 minutes for a game. I was facing a 40-year-old man who lived in this hotel, paid by the staff at the Marriot. Everyone there referred to him as “Q, the ping-pong king”. When I approached him, he seemed confused. I asked if he wanted to play me, and he laughed. He asked where my parents were, and if I had lost them. I defended myself the only way I knew how. “I see you’re dodging the challenge. You’re not afraid of a 14-year-old, are you?” He instantly laughed and accepted my challenge. But, as soon as the match was about to start, an audience gathered around the table, watching. They said that they had waited months for someone to beat him, and hoped that I could. No pressure. The game doesn’t start well. I gave up too many lobs that he slammed onto my side. But soon, towards the middle of the game, I start picking it up, finding the corners of the table, and playing good defense. I’m still down 15-12 when the chants start. “White boy, White boy, White boy!” I hit it to him hard, and he hit it over the table. 15-13. A few moments later, I’m down by one point. 19-18. Hundreds of people are called down to the game room to witness this. The hotel staff joins in, ignoring the noise complaints of the third floor. I serve it, he hits it hard, and I return it. The same goes on for many moments until I see a breakthrough. I slam the ball onto his side, and I tied the game up. 19-19. I serve it, and he hits an unexpected curve my way. 20-19. Game point. Everyone is biting their nails, waiting for his serve. We hit it to each other for a while, until he merely misses the table. 20-20. Win by 2. I serve it, and he whiffs through the ball. Everyone starts to yell, and chant again. It starts to get crazy when the serve comes. I serve it, he returns it hard. But then, I see a small gap. I hit it to the right, where he can’t return it, and I win. 22-20, basix. Everyone starts yelling and jumping on top of me. They asked what they should call me, and I said in my deepest voice, “You guys can call me basix. The swexy. They invite me to an afterparty in the hotel lobby, with drinks and snacks. The previous ping pong king had been dethroned, and we were forced out of the hotel by the owner. Soon, news reporters started coming by, for me. They said “I received a call the previous king had been dethroned. Who is this person?” The manager pointed my way, and they swarmed by face with cameras and microphones. They said “How did you manage to pull off this win against Q?” “Well, you know, I just wanted to show him who was king. I wanted it more than him, and I deserved it.” “And was this a close match, or did you blow him out?” “I had to make it a close game for suspense, of course. But seriously, I have a ton of respect for him, even though he’s a 40-year-old man that plays ping pong at a hotel for a living.” “This is the national news, signing off. Any last words for us, basix?” “Follow your dreams, kids. Just a few years ago, I lost to my cousin.” I was interviewed so much after that. Reporters and interviewers came through all day wishing to talk to me. They found a recording of the match and showed it all over social media. I became a star. The hotel paid for my stay as long as I was the king and even got me a plaque in the game room. All the guests that stay there have approached me asking for autographs, and pictures. I have increased my Instagram follower count to millions, and I get DMS from celebrities every day. I eat the same hotel breakfast every day and enjoy Hawaii and the sights and views it has for me. I travel all over the world to various hotel locations, and I play tournaments for a living.
I hired my bodyguard just a few days ago. I am going to Europe soon, with all of my expenses paid for by the Marriot. I have never lost a ping pong game in my life, except for my cousin when I was 11. He has never failed to rub that in, as he says that he was the best opponent I’ve ever faced. I am now traveling across the world playing ping pong for a living, wanting to get as many “ping pong king” plaques in as many hotels as I possibly can.
I have yet to face my cousin since. He never returns my calls, and says he doesn’t want to get nationally humiliated. You can find me on my social media, and live TV on any given day. I will be in Europe for most of this month if anyone is around to play. So I ask again. Who here is a good challenger for me? When can we get a heated press conference set up for both of us?
It’s crazy to think that all of this happened because I was angry about the loss to my cousin. I thank him and his trash talk for getting me here. In competitive ping pong, I am 21-0, yet to lose to anyone. I have had some close games, but I’ve always come out on top. You can purchase tickets to my matches online if you just google it. I will be around, and you can see where I’m traveling to by texting me or checking my Instagram posts.
That’s all! Thanks for reading my very long post. I hope you enjoyed it, and laughed a little. I’ve got a match to get to, so wish me good luck, will yer?

dream about ping pong and sleep quite well.
I woke up the next morning at around 8 am. I have a nice breakfast filled with creamy and fluffy Belgian waffles with an assortment of fruits. I even had orange juice that day, which tasted exquisite and made me feel fancy. But of course, I wasn’t focused on the breakfast and the orange juice, and more so on the task at hand. Beating my whole family in ping pong that day. My cousins were supposed to get here in a few hours, where I could say hello. We would all chat, before playing some ping pong. So, a few hours later, there’s a ring at the doorbell. I said hello to my cousins and my aunt and uncle that I hadn’t seen in a while. We caught up and talked for a bit, before I grew impatient and interrupted everyone speaking to challenge everyone to ping pong. The kids agree to play, while the adults continue talking on the couch like old people. I start against my little sister, who’s four years younger than me. I destroy her, and she is unable to even get a point. Well actually, since my parents told me to “go easy” on her, or something, I ended up gifting her a point at the end of the match. 11-1 basix. I play my youngest cousin, who’s the same age. He puts up a fair fight by slamming the ball as hard as he could a few times, but I manage to beat him. 11-4 basix. I then play my younger brother, who’s just two years younger than me. He does well, but he smashes the ball over the table too many times to compete well. 11-7 basix. I then have

Yes

Eesh. Big ping pong guy, then. I was never a fan of boats, but I was discreet about my sea-sickness. I'm surprised you caught it.

I don't have time to read all of this, but I will for sure. And remeber me, the first time I will go to the usa, our battle will be legendary

I then have to face my older cousin. He was twelve at the time, whereas I was only eleven. It was a fairly close match at the start, but then he started finding the corners, leaving me scrabbling and allowing him to hit it hard to the other. 11-7, but not basix. This was my first and last ping-pong loss of my entire career. I can still remember the “Basix, give your paddle to someone else, I need some competition”, and the “Hey, relax, go easier on him next time” of my aunt. After this, I start to tear up but stop myself. After such an embarrassing loss, I do not play any more ping pong during this trip, with the exception of playing my little sister for the gratification of winning.
The vacation ends a week after that day. I went home sad because of my loss, and I found it impossible to enjoy myself after that day. After a few weeks, I decided it was silly to be this down after losing ping pong. Still, I found it was necessary to train so that I could beat him the next time I went over there, whenever that would be. I work hard by mowing lawns and raking leaves to save up all of my money for a regulation ping pong table. I played whenever I could, whether against the wall, myself, or someone from the local recreation center. I played nonstop for 2 years. I won a few tournaments

around my community, I beat all of my friends, teachers, and everyone else who dared to play me. I wasn’t even sure if I would ever get to play my cousin ever again, but I wanted to be prepared if I did. I begged my parents to let me go see them, but they said we didn’t have time. But, just this week, they said that we were going to Hawaii for a vacation! I was so excited about this, and immediately packed my stuff, and folded my clothes into my bag.
I was sure to bring four ping pong paddles, just in case. I take a very long flight to Hawaii and ride a boat to the island, watching someone throw up from seasickness right beside me. We go get our rental car and head up to the extremely fancy Marriot hotel we will be staying in for a week or so. We check-in, and I grab some fancy water with fruit in it! While my parents are checking us in, and using their points, I overhear this. “So, the pool is on floor 2, along with the fitness room you’ll have with your stay. There is a game room with a ping-pong table and a pool table on floor 3 if you’re interested. There will be a free break-”. I spat out my water and sprinted up to the room (Well, as fast as the elevator went) to put my stuff away, so that I could go to floor 3 to check out the room. It was about 9 pm, and a few players were playing in the room, and a few people playing pool in the corner. I asked if I could play the winner of two players playing

Hm… I’ll stop the copy pasting for now. Too many words.

Wait you went to HAWAII???

Yeah, I did. That was my first competitive ping pong match.

Cool

My school said that maybe they will do a ping pong tournament this year, that will be my first

Oh, for real? That’s pretty cool.

I have too but there was no ping pong, just a camper van that we borrowed that didn’t start half the time

Lol

Paddle hits ball to other side and tries to get a point.

#16 💀

My fav too! I spent at least two hours everyday playing ping pong at work 🤓

My new office doesn’t have
Very nostalgic reading this

It’s the first time I’ve ever wanted to write something that long, too.

""WHITE BOY WHITE BOY WHITE BOY"" IS BONKERS