Forgiveness

It often amazes me when I hear peoples' incredible stories of forgiveness such as when a couple is able to forgive the murderer of their child. We've all heard of these types of acts. God forgave the Apostle Paul even though he murdered Christians. Conversely, it grieves my heart and I feel ashamed when I see petty divisions within our groups which are often the result of pride or lack of humility. When this happens, only the devil gets the glory. We all know what the essentials of salvation are. When we do not agree with another person's doctrine or place in their walk with the Lord we fail to realize that we all mature at different paces in our spiritual journey. Lack of discernment is sin. Clutter in our lives that keep us from intimacy with our Lord is sin. However, the only unforgivable sin is blaspheming against the Holy Spirit. How can we at one moment be united and the next divided? Why is it so difficult for people to agree to disagree or to accept a Godly rebuke? Or how is it that we cannot rebuke lovingly with gentleness and respect? Who are we to fire darts at a Christian Brother or Sister? So often it is not what we say, but how we say it that hurts. We will not know everything about the Bible and our Savior, His Heavenly Father and the Holy Spirit until after death. As Solomon says, even knowledge and wisdom are vanity. What does the Bible say about all this? I don't have much time so I will just post some great articles to get the juices flowing. Including myself, we have all begrudged someone.

Question: "How can I forgive those who sin against me?"
Answer:Everyone has been wronged, offended, and sinned against at some point. How are Christians to respond when such offenses occur? According to the Bible, we are to forgive.Ephesians 4:32 declares, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Similarly, Colossians 3:13 proclaims, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” The key in both Scriptures is that we are to forgive others as God has forgiven us. Why do we forgive? Because we have been forgiven!

Forgiveness would be simple if we only had to grant it to those who come asking for it in sorrow and repentance. The Bible tells us that we are to forgive, without condition, those who sin against us. Refusing to truly forgive a person demonstrates resentment, bitterness, and anger, none of which are the traits of a true Christian. In the Lord's Prayer, we ask God to forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who sin against us (Matthew 6:12). Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” In light of other Scriptures that speak of God’s forgiveness,Matthew 6:14-15 is best understood to be saying that people who refuse to forgive others have not truly experienced God’s forgiveness themselves.

Whenever we disobey one of God's commands, we sin against Him. Whenever we wrong another person, we not only sin against that person, but also against God. When we consider the extent to which God forgives all our transgressions, we realize that we do not have the right to withhold this grace from others. We have sinned against God infinitely more than any person can sin against us. If God forgives us of so much, how can we refuse to forgive others of so little? Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18:23-35 is a powerful illustration of this truth. God promises that when we come to Him asking for forgiveness, He freely grants it (1 John 1:9). The forgiveness we extend should know no limits, in the same way that God's forgiveness is limitless (Luke 17:3-4).

Question: "What does the Bible say about unforgiveness?"

Answer:The Bible has quite a bit to say about forgiveness and unforgiveness. Perhaps the most well-known teaching on unforgiveness is Jesus’ parable of the unmerciful servant, recorded in Matthew 18:21-35. In the parable, a king forgives an enormously large debt (basically one that could never be repaid) of one of his servants. Later, however, that same servant refuses to forgive the small debt of another man. The king hears about this and rescinds his prior forgiveness. Jesus concludes by saying, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). Other passages tell us that we will be forgiven as we forgive (see Matthew 6:14;7:2; and Luke 6:37, for example).

Do not be confused here; God’s forgiveness is not based on our works. Forgiveness and salvation are founded completely in the person of God and by Jesus’ redeeming work on the cross. However, our actions demonstrate our faith and the extent to which we understand God’s grace (see James 2:14-26 and Luke 7:47). We are completely unworthy, yet Jesus chose to pay the price for our sins and to give us forgiveness (Romans 5:8). When we truly grasp the greatness of God’s gift to us, we will pass the gift along. We have been given grace and should give grace to others in return. In the parable, we are appalled at the servant who would not forgive a minor debt after having been forgiven his unpayable debt. Yet, when we are unforgiving, we act just as the servant in the parable.

Unforgiveness also robs us of the full life God intends for us. Rather than promote justice, our unforgiveness festers into bitterness.Hebrews 12:14-15 warns, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root rises up to cause trouble and defile many.” Similarly,2 Corinthians 2:5-11 warns that unforgiveness can be an opening for Satan to derail us.

We also know that those who have sinned against us – whom we may not want to forgive – are held accountable by God (see Romans 12:19 and Hebrews 10:30). It is important to recognize that to forgive is not to downplay a wrongdoing or necessarily to reconcile. When we choose to forgive, we release a person from his indebtedness to us. We relinquish the right to seek personal revenge. We choose to say we will not hold his wrongdoing against him. However, we do not necessarily allow that person back into our trust or even fully release that person from the consequences of his sin. We are told that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). While God’s forgiveness relieves us from eternal death, it does not always release us from the death-like consequences of sin (such as a broken relationship or the penalty provided by the justice system). Forgiveness does not mean we act as if no wrong has been done; it does mean we recognize that grace abundant has been given to us and that we have no right to hold someone else’s wrongdoing over his head.

Time and again, Scripture calls us to forgive one another.Ephesians 4:32, for example, says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” We have been given much in the way of forgiveness, and much is expected from us in response (see Luke 12:48). Though forgiveness is often difficult, to be unforgiving is to disobey God and to depreciate the greatness of His gift.

Question: "What does the Bible say about grudges?"
Answer:We all have reasons to hold grudges. People wrong us. Situations hurt us. Even God does not always do what we think He should do, so we get angry. We hold offenses against those who have wronged us, and often against God who we think should have done things differently. A grudge is nothing more than a refusal to forgive. So, since this tendency is inherent in all of us and seemingly unavoidable, what does the Bible say about it?

God has such a strong concern about grudges that He included a specific command about them when He gave the Law to the Israelites. Leviticus 19:18 says, “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” It is interesting that God concluded this particular command with the words “I am the Lord.” In doing so, God reminded us that He is the Lord, not us. To hold a grudge is to set ourselves up as judge and jury—to determine that one person’s wrong should not be forgiven. No human being has the right or authority to do that.Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

Misunderstanding forgiveness often keeps us in bondage to grudges. We think that to forgive is to excuse sin or pretend the offense did not matter. Neither is true. Forgiveness is not about the other person. Forgiveness is God’s gift to us to release us from the control of someone who has hurt us. When we retain a grudge, we give someone we don’t like power over our emotions. Without forgiveness, just the thought of an offender can send acid to our stomachs and heat to our faces. In essence, we make that person an idol, giving him or her control over us (Deuteronomy 32:39). But when we forgive, we release to God any right to vengeance or restitution. Forgiveness puts our relationship with God back in proper alignment. We acknowledge that He is the Judge, not us, and that He has the right to bring about any resolution He chooses. Forgiveness is the choice to trust God rather than ourselves with the outcome of the offense.

We often hold on to grudges because we feel we have the responsibility to see that justice is done or that others know how badly we were hurt. But when we release the situation to God, along with the right to dictate the ending, we free the Lord to work as He sees fit without our anger getting in the way (Matthew 18:21–22).

It is important to remember that forgiveness and reconciliation are not synonymous. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. It is an act of surrender to God’s will and is primarily between us and God. We release to Him our right to hang on to anger (Psalm 115:11). However, reconciliation depends on the true repentance and proven trustworthiness of the offender. For example, in the case of spousal abuse, the victim must forgive as part of her ongoing healing. She can release her anger to God. But, at the same time, she must keep protective boundaries in place until the abuser has proven over time that he is worthy of her trust (see Proverbs 26:24–25).

“The anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). We do God no favors by trying to “help” Him right a bad situation through our vengeance. He does not need our anger. He needs our cooperation as we submit to doing things His way (Proverbs 3:5–6). And God’s way is always to forgive as He has forgiven us (Matthew 18:35;Ephesians 4:32).

We can release a grudge with a simple act of our will, by offering the whole situation to God and letting go of it. Forgiveness brings healing to our souls and allows God to build His strength and character into our lives as we allow Him to reign as our only God (Romans 8:29).

It’s so important that we love each other unconditionally, and even when we disagree on things we still love. Part of loving unconditionally is to not hold on to the past, that disagreements are not allowed to fester. Holding on to grudges is sin. We can agree to disagree in love and not hold that disagreement in our hearts. Forgiveness means to let go of past hurts, to love one another even if we disagree on things. Thankfully our Father has forgiven us and not held our our past against us. We can never move forward in our personal life, in any endeavor or even here as a group if we hold on to past hurts and disagreements. We will never agree on everything but we must forgive and love!