Fortunately ✅ Unfortunately ❌

Unfortunately, we are unconscious

Unfortunately, you wake up in a black hole

fortunately, you didn't feel like it so you teleported out

Unfortunately, your teleportation powers don't work

Unfortunately the portal is made of cardboard

fortunately, it's really high quality cardboard which is actually really effective for working with quantum mechanics

Unfortunately Kim Jong Un invaded and ate you

LOL

Unfortunately, Kim Jong Un re-ate you bc he eats his sht

Bruh.

Fortunately, you came back to life (we have come full circle in the story)

Unfortunately, you spawned in yo momma's house and she belts you

Fortunately all of this wasn't real and you wake up as employee number 427

Unfortunately you are a pink guard

(that's not how the Stanley parable goes and 8nonymous knew it perfectly well)