Funny jokes (plz stay clean)

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This is my Joke Forum!

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Roses are read
Their petals are dandy
Get in my van I’ve got plenty of candy 😁
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lol

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hold up a sec

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A Scotsman, an Irishman, and an Englishman are all lined up in front of a firing squad. They are told they can each have 1 final request. The Scotsman says, "I'd like to hear "Scotland The Brave" played on the bagpipes one last time, to remind me of the auld country." The Irishman says, "I'd like to hear "Danny Boy" sung by Gracie Fields one last time, to remind me of the auld country." Knowing what's to come, the Englishman says, "I'd like to get shot first."

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Lmao
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I just learned what that stands for.