Getting at ease with women - PUA

Thought this would be an interesting subject to start in the chess community. Chessplayers are known to be silent, odd, friendly, intelligent... exactly the kind of people women dislike..

Do they?

May be they do like such people! Its just that some chessplayers got low selfesteem, or don't know how to 'market' themselves.

Pick up artists are often seen as smoothtalking and good looking guys. Yes, they are smooth talking, no they are often not so good looking.

A pick up artist works on his outer game: your 'outer game' is your appearance, anything from your dress sense, looks, body etc, which is used to attract the opposite sex in a 'macking' opportunity.

You cant really control your face. But you can control your clothes, hair, your smell, beard etc. But make it congruent with who you are. Dont look like a pimp when you are not that type of person. Dont look like a businessman when you take a girl to your cheap flat.. make sure you look congruent with who you are (+1 = and a little better).

And yes, you will have to start working out. Not like a madmen everyday, with enhancing pills. Just very regularly. You will look MUCH better. And you will get MUCH more confident.

Inner game: With regards success with women, and as opposed to outer game, your inner game is the opinion you have of yourself (your self esteem) and the pursuits in life that make you interesting and successful. This all contributes to your self confidence. A confident person is more likely to score with women.  

And: learn how to cope with people, common psychology. What is being friendly? What is being supportive? What is being loyal? Common social interaction psychology..

Then its time to interact with women 

If you find it hard to talk to attactive women, then start out with asking them the way. This is a very neutral question and no one will be offended by it. Do this often, also if you know exactly where you are.

Next step: give her a compliment. May be an obvious one: nice dress, and thank you for telling me the way. Or less obvious: that's a long way, but you explained it very well.

When this gets easy for you, its time fo the next steps.

And from here on it depends on what your 'issue' is when it comes to women. Some find it difficult to approach, some find it difficult to conversate (with attractive women), some find it tough to get a conversation (sexually) exciting, etc.

I cant tell you all, youll have to look for the info yourself.

Some general advice:
- learn what women find interesting (to listen to)
- dont be someone else, be yourself - yes you are interesting
- embed your value, rather than telling how good you are
- learn by doing. Dont be afraid of failure. Failure means you have tried, and if you tried it meant youve had the guts to approach a woman.
- women already give you respect for approaching them!
- but they will also give you a hard time.. dont be offended, in fact respond GOOD to it and you will win her. But accept a no, when she says NO.
- dont pay money for learning how to flirt/date women.. learn by reading and doing. Offer something in return for coaching. Unless you are rich, dont buy expensive classes 
- dont have the goal to get laid! Have the goal to have an enjoyable time with women. If they feel that you genuinly enjoy yourself with them, the kissing and whatever will come by itself.
- Dont be that guy who ask her where she works, how old she is, interview, interview, often pretty boring. Be playfull. If she asks you what you do for a living, and you are a programmer, tell her you train dolphins. Retarded dolphins in fact. 

Hope it helps some people :) its just like chess.. practice and youll get better at it. And it gets more fun. You start out with losing alot. Chessmen deserve more women!!

But if I am going to do everything that you are saying, then will I not have enough time anymore to play chess! :-)

Candy is dandy

But liquor is quicker

Ogden Nash

Much simpler

Yes, Loek.. it requires quite an investment in time :)

@Rooperi: 
And if liquor flows to thick, Rohypnol will do the trick!

 

Thanks Achja, I wante to share it because I know there are alot of men who would like to get more intimate with women, but they have no clue how. This can grow to an anxiety.

And yes, it is not directed to the chessplayers who are confident with women or that are happily married. And this is also not about becoming someone you are not. In fact, stay close to yourself or you'll become fake and people can tell that you are faking someting. (plus its tiresome)
Also being intimate with women should not be the goal of your life. But for men who allmost never have this intimacy it can feel like a void in their life.

For me this became relevant when I quitted my 8 year relationship. Before that I also had shorter relationships, 3 months, 8 months.. now Im 29 and I'd like to enjoy life before I get settled -also I am currently dating several women.. who knows my future wife is amongst them! But my problem was: Im a likable person, dont look to bad, got some talents... then why dont I take women home more often? Started reading a bit about the subject and learned things that where appropriate for me. I also started working out, bought slightly nicer clothing.. and it works :) 

And as said: some chessplayers can be those friendly guys who never get the girls, and those "cool" assholes who treat women bad do get them...

You friendly guys can get girls, just need to get into the subject and actually carry out the tips. And don't mind to get your heart hurted, thats part of the game.

And you get more out of it than just dates/intimacy. You conquer fears that are relevant in many other aspects of life as well. 

By the way, I never tell right away that I play chess, but I eventually do. It shows that you are not afraid to show a nerdy side, it is seen as an intelligent sport and if you are passionate about ANYTHING then that is attractive as well. Just dont keep talking about it :D (unless she likes it too!)

Women are wise nowadays..they can smell a "casanova" a hundred miles away. Approaching them as a PUA would really get you the girl (if you know the push pull thing) but as soon as the "real you" is seen and its so different from what you portray then the "sexyness"  go away you end up picking one again..and again til what when youre very old? Ending up as someone women love to have in bed but not a "keeper" is a heart breaker in the long run. PUA is just plain old manupulation, its BS while having fun. "You dig me, im gonna have you to want me then i get you and play over again." is its concept. Very tiring.

konhidras wrote:

Women are wise nowadays..they can smell a "casanova" a hundred miles away. Approaching them as a PUA would really get you the girl (if you know the push pull thing) but as soon as the "real you" is seen and its so different from what you portray then the "sexyness"  go away you end up picking one again..and again til what when youre very old? Ending up as someone women love to have in bed but not a "keeper" is a heart breaker in the long run. PUA is just plain old manupulation, its BS while having fun. "You dig me, im gonna have you to want me then i get you and play over again." is its concept. Very tiring.

-------------------

I've got a different view about it. Don't become a casanova.

And dont be something you are not, or something that is tiresome to be. But do improve yourself. Women do see you didn't brush teeth, they do smell you. And start sporting. Makes you look healthy and makes you happy in general.

Also learning a bit about the flirting process doesn't make you fake. You just understand it better and it allows you to respond better. Still in your very own way.

And yes there are many methods. It's up to a person if he likes the method. I didn't learn any lines or methods. I just read a bit about how to be a bit less 'the friendly guy' and a bit more the playful. I'm still creative, friendly and all. Those are values women enjoy (and I'm glad to have those traits) But if you are just that it can be boring, ie not very tempting. So I added a bit of the playfulness and edgy behaviour. Behaviour that is still totally me, but more risky.

Women recognizer the smoooooth casanova. But they don't recognise that you've been studying the flirting process if you keep it close to you.

Wow way too much work guys. Just be yourself and make sure you get outside so you can meet women in real life. All the formulas in the world don't work if you're not being yourself. If you want to make changes do it for you, not anyone else.

Girls hate me 

Heres a line that always works guys- and ill explain why.

Guy- ' How do you do it '

Girl- 'What do you mean' ha, in reality shes thinkiing

Please talk about me.

At this point or actually before this youve already

ascertained what she wants to hear. By, saying how

Do you do it first, she drops.most of her defences but

not all, just most. Thats the ice breaker.At this point

You tell her what she wants to here but dont over do it or

She will think your a) giving her a line

b) a.perv

c)mister stuck on self

Good things to say are

1) your so gorgeous

2) your beatiful

3) you have a good figure, etc.

At this point if she gives you a big smile- your in

If the smile is halfway- you got more work to do

If she gives you a frown- your out a there

Works everytime!!

Thats what Im saying ;)

I'm saying the same 

My tip>. Do compliment them but never on how beautiful they are, beauty is common. Try playing ticks on some areas other than the face. Its all about the tease.Punish em when they become brats during a conversation but do reward them with your attention when needed. Lastly dont ever be the ass kisser. :)

its easy bro, just approach them and never even dare hesitate for a second nor even try to think of a topic this would make you nervous. Sk question that does not give a yes and a no for an answer. That way conversations get longer and then you could start playing around. Use your chess intution in reading them.

Is this the key for getting a date in Netherlands?

No , there all you say is " Would you like to go for a windmill ride?"

I need a hot chick 

Nice tips!