Happy Holidays, et al

Happy Hanukkah

Happy Saturnalia

Happy Festivus

Merry Christmas

Happy Kwanzaa

Happy Boxing Day

Happy New Year

Isn't boxing day after Christmas

Baby Jebus, please redeem us from Corona! You can do it, we believe in you, champ!

Same day as Kwanzaa so either order works.

To the tune of Jingle Bells

Gliding through the air with your teeth so sharp and bright

To make us aware of your wondrous bite

Death will have no sting, we'll rise from the dust

Our blood will flow our souls will sing when he give you our trust

Jingle Bat, Jingle Bat, jingle through your flight

Now we know why Santa Claus only comes out in the ni-ight

Jingle Bat, Jingle Bat, jingle through your flight

Now we know why Santa Claus only comes out in the night

It explains a number of things such as how Santa is still going after centuries, how he can get into any home that he is invited into regardless of the access points, and why he has such devoted followers. The rest of the post is a bunch of mathematics that essentially boil down to Santa Claus being thousand, tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands of subjective years old. The above song rewrite gives one explanation for how Santa can still be around at such an age.

Assuming a billion households to reach (massage the following numbers to match your preferred starting point) and Christmas Eve night going for 24 hours as the Earth turns through the various time zones, that is 11,574 households per second while most depictions show spending one to ten minutes per home. With a time dilation capability (scientific device, magic, etc.) those 11,574 homes can be visited in one second based on external observation while taking 11,574 to 115,740 minutes based on internal time usage. That would translate into 1902 to 19025 subjective years each Christmas Eve, and an unlimited lifespan can handle that.

Father Christmas was referred to no later than the 1500s but world population was significantly less back then. The world reached 1 billion population in 1804, 2 billion in 1928, 3 billion in 1960 and 4 billion in 1974 so the number of Christmas Eve stops is much higher now than it used to be. A rough lower limit guesstimate would involve assuming zero growth between the following dates with a sudden jump to the population at the next date (in billions of people): 1500 (0.45); 1650 (0.5); 1700 (0.61); 1760 (0.77); 1804 (1); 1850 (1.2); 1900 (1.6); 1928 (2); 1960 (3); 1974 (4); 1987 (5); 1999 (6); 2011 (7); 2022 (8). That would translate to the last 525 Christmas Eves being collecting equivalent to 89 time the current Christmas Eve for about 169,278 subjective years felt during the necessary time dilation of those 525 Christmas Eves (using one subjective minute per visit). Starting at 1650 instead of 1500 would change that to 87.5 times the current Christmas Eve and reduce that 169,278 by about 2,850 (dropping it to 166,428 years) while starting earlier in history would have a similar effect (adding another 1500 years even at an overstated 0.45 billion population would only increase 168,278 to a little under 198,000 years).

The assumed step increase instead of a normal logarithmic increase means 169,278 is low. The assumed one subjective minute per stop may be wrong but allows for a straightforward calculation using a different duration (one subjective second per stop is a simple division by 60 to 2,821 years). The assumption that the number of stops is 1/8 of the world population can also be adjusted based on a different estimate.

The numbers above assume a stasis between Christmas Eves that do not involve any subjective time, so you might or might not want to add those years when calculating subjective age.

Only an entity with a much longer lifespan than a normal human would be able to still be around.