Happy Misgiving
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Have a happy misgiving,
I have no thanks for you.
My King can't make a living,
He's a squatter in my shoe.
My minor pieces can't tell
An x-ray attack from a pin!
Each of my two rooks fell
For back ranks again and again.
My queen is always flirting
With the bishop and the knight.
My unruly pawns are singing
And not ready for a fight.
I can't find my clock or my board,
My openings are out dated,
The kids are a conquering hoard,
I hope I don't get Fool's Mated!