How To Get Banned From The Forums

Please provide ideas on how to get banned from the chess.com forums. Incorporate chess into your answers to ensure this thread remains under general chess discussion. Thank you.

I'll begin: throw very sharp bishops at the mods. If the bishops land in their eyes, then they will finally see the tyranny of their ways.

Impersonating staff (did it, got muted, if you do it many times you will probably get banned)

Oh, here it is. I thought this got lost in oblivion. So thus far, as I understand, I should:

Pretend to be a mod creating 7000 accounts in one day to call chess.com corrupt and post gay porn. Am I on the right track?

Get incredebly good at chess and do not send any title verification to the staff.

Almost petty enough to work. Yet not humble enough. Good start, however.

Ok, next suggestion, chess-themed errbody:

Hacking the next blitz championship between Magnet Carlsen and Hiccup Nakamura then humbly posting about it in the forums.

Messing up with some stalinist mode, make fun of how stupid supposedly are, that should get you muted and away from the forums.

That just sounds like my banishment will be stallin'. I want straight up banned.

Play better chess than the mods and laugh at them for that, do the same in every thread, call them patzers and analyze their games in their threads, talking about how they hang pieces.

Start a rebelion against the mods with this song:

"What do you wanna do with your life"

I wanna play CHESS.

I wanna shitpost (shitpost!)

I wanna shitpost (shitpost!)

I wanna shitpost (shitpost!)

What an inspirational band.

Lol. 

Indeed, trashy forum threads about using chess to get banned from chess forums is the sole reason for the downfall of all socialist regimes and ideas. There is no other feasible explanation.

Apologies, I misread that. Replace "downfall of socialist regimes" with "prevalence of classes within socialist regimes."

Yes, especially against elitist scum. Who do they think they are, demanding improved user experience and services just because they're able to provide tender currency in exchange for the aforementioned? We must make them fall. We must increase inflation of ratings. We must free the forums. We must build a wall to keep out the mods! We shall make chess.com GREAT AGAIN!

(Where's macer when you need him?)

Next suggestion: post an endless stream of incorrect tactics and improper puzzles throughout the forums. Tout myself as a professional on the rise to increase my credibility, but still deny chess.com the ability to give me the title I (presumably) have, as per prior suggestions. Exacerbate the impact of my posts by creating confusing word salads as I have in this very paragraph that you may or may not be reading.