Thank you Zack.
how to not get so mad?
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Nov 22, 2014
0
#43
u are right a Zack.I won 10 games in a row 48 hrs before .lost the 11th ,12th and 13th one the last one as my internet conn.stopped working.It is all strange and fun if u are not over disturbed by losses and overjoyed by wins.
I too get extremely angry when losing on this site. I really wish there was a setting to turn the rating off. The number shouldn't bother me, but it does very much. Not only do you lose - you get demerrited and e-mailed weekly about all your activity. I joined this site because I was sick of methodically losing to computer chess all the time and wanted to play live against real people. I am up all night on this site as well and it is affecting my personal and work life with my lack of sleep.
If that's really true then you should probably stop playing chess
Do not get mad of a lose you learn of it. Enjoy to all games you do play, win or lose, improve comes naturally and so you will win next games. Me too have lose streaks like 7 but i did learn frustating does definitely not help me :)
Jan 9, 2015
0
#47
if losing didn't suck so bad, then winning wouldn't feel so good. can't have one without the other.
in my experience, a growing aggravation with losing is what causes folks to quit playing chess.
i choose not to let it bother me when i lose, and i'm a very competitive person, because doing so would place too much emphasis on losing versus winning, where i just take it in stride.
AbsoluteSobriety wrote:
I too get extremely angry when losing on this site. I really wish there was a setting to turn the rating off. The number shouldn't bother me, but it does very much. Not only do you lose - you get demerrited and e-mailed weekly about all your activity. I joined this site because I was sick of methodically losing to computer chess all the time and wanted to play live against real people. I am up all night on this site as well and it is affecting my personal and work life with my lack of sleep.
Unless you are a chess genius, you are going to lose about half of ALL your chess games. Think about how many games you will play a year....you will lose about half of them !
Don't like that idea ? Then chess is not for you.
Want a good tip? Let it out lol, rage on and cool off, stacking up frustration and other negative emotions can be troublesome.
Lagomorph wrote:
ZackBlack23 wrote:
Losing can make me so angry at times, how do i combat this?
Take up a different hobby. Seriously, if you get angry because you lose at a board game, how do you cope with normal life ?
I have always been sickened by losing at games - any games. Chess is, of course, included. I have thought about this long and hard and tried to rationalise it, but the feelings do not change. I know it's only a game, but this realisation is no help.
One thing I have noticed is that, if I lose a game, I am significantly more likely to lose again if I play again straightaway. Clearly, I can't play properly when angry. As for handling everyday life, I find this attitude has no bearing whatsoever. Those who know me know I'm a terrible loser - so what?
Jan 9, 2015
0
#51
I keep an extra monitor handy for those times when I smash my fist through the screen because I lost four straight.
roscoepwavetrain wrote:
if losing didn't suck so bad, then winning wouldn't feel so good. can't have one without the other.
in my experience, a growing aggravation with losing is what causes folks to quit playing chess.
i choose not to let it bother me when i lose, and i'm a very competitive person, because doing so would place too much emphasis on losing versus winning, where i just take it in stride.
A truly "competitive person" would not be able to take such a relaxed attitude to losing.
RG1951 wrote:
A truly "competitive person" would not be able to take such a relaxed attitude to losing.
I think the point here is that once a chess player has reched a level of play from which he can advance no further, he will continue to play chess with players of around the same level. He will on average lose half of all his games. If he cannot rationalise this and If losing makes him mad/upset/kick the dog, he will become a very sad chess player who will get no enjoyment from the game.
Accepting and understanding the logic of this will not make a player any less competetive.
Lagomorph wrote:
RG1951 wrote:
A truly "competitive person" would not be able to take such a relaxed attitude to losing.
I think the point here is that once a chess player has reched a level of play from which he can advance no further, he will continue to play chess with players of around the same level. He will on average lose half of all his games. If he cannot rationalise this and If losing makes him mad/upset/kick the dog, he will become a very sad chess player who will get no enjoyment from the game.
Accepting and understanding the logic of this will not make a player any less competetive.
What I was getting at is all successful game players and sportsmen detest losing. They would not be as successful if they didn't. Everybody remembers the great tennis player Borg as impassive and emotionless on court and many take this to show that he did not mind losing. In fact, he once stated during an interview that losing made him feel physically sick.
His outward appearance of impassiveness was simply iron self control.
kleelof wrote:
ZackBlack23 wrote:
Losing can make me so angry at times, how do i combat this?
It's OK to get annoyed and even upset when you lose. Don't listen to this "It's just a game." crap. If it was just a game, Carlsen and other masters would not be making millions off of playing the game.
Any competition is full of emotion.
The fact that that you have an emotion when you lose only shows that you have an interest in accomplishing something at chess. Not that you take it too seriously. Nobody has the right to tell you you are taking something too seriously. It's your choice what you take seriously and what you don't.
Now, about the getting upset. I used to get quite upset too when I lost games. Especially when I really felt I had the game won and ended up losing. Even now, I get a little annoyed sometimes. However, there is a solution.
Any shrink will tell you this about getting angry; Getting angry is normal and natural. What counts is what you do with it. If you go about beating up on yourself because of it, then you will never find a way to get past the anger.
No, you have to do something constructive with it.
Spend that energy going over the game. Even if you lost because you hung your queen. Set-up the position. Find a better move you could have made. CC Games let you load them into the analysis window. So it is easy to set-up and go over a position.
To use a pop-pshychology term, this will give you closure and you can move past the anger.
A puppy might be a good idea too.
So long as you don't kick it when you lose at chess.
Foy myself, you, and others, it is just a game. For Carlsen, and other like him, it is their profession.
RG1951 wrote:
What I was getting at is all successful game players and sportsmen detest losing. They would not be as successful if they didn't. Everybody remembers the great tennis player Borg as impassive and emotionless on court and many take this to show that he did not mind losing. In fact, he once stated during an interview that losing made him feel physically sick.
His outward appearance of impassiveness was simply iron self control.
But the truly great sportsmen, although detesting losing, are able to accept it as part of the game and deal with it without it affecting the next point or the next game. You said yourself, Borg had iron self control.
realize that you are more likely than not a part of the .0000001% of players that can make a living off of playing chess.
Lagomorph wrote:
RG1951 wrote:
What I was getting at is all successful game players and sportsmen detest losing. They would not be as successful if they didn't. Everybody remembers the great tennis player Borg as impassive and emotionless on court and many take this to show that he did not mind losing. In fact, he once stated during an interview that losing made him feel physically sick.
His outward appearance of impassiveness was simply iron self control.
But the truly great sportsmen, although detesting losing, are able to accept it as part of the game and deal with it without it affecting the next point or the next game. You said yourself, Borg had iron self control.
Yes, great sportsmen are able to acept losing, but if they did not hate it so much, they probably would not be winners.
Life is fate. I lost to a guy 200 points lower than me who gave me 8 chances to equalize and I missed them all. Two days later I played the greatest game of my life vs. Louis Winokur. Sacrificed my Queen for mate in 7. I laugh when I lose because its a joke after 40 years of playing.
No one can tell me I'm not a GM. http://www.chessgames.com/perl/chessgame?gid=1760686
hey nice rating man good job