i cannot find a oil cap for my benz.

life can be very difficult for the rich. 

Dang, just buy a new benz - problem solved...

the benz is a 1920 classic.  it comes with it's driver.  sell the car and the driver will cry.

A compassionate rich guy - Now I KNOW this is a windup... )-P

no.  the driver has photos of me he said he will sell to the tabloids if he loses his job.  got to keep the car, the driver and somehow get hold of those photos.

Tell him to go ahead. These days, being in the tabloids is a plus.

my wife will leave me.  i told her i was in geneva on a banking engagement and the tabloids show me with a young juene fille at the baccarat table in monte carlo.  

i need that oil cap.

In that case, don't worry about the oil cap, just stuff an old rag into the gas tank nozzle. What could possibly go wrong?

right now i have a rubber cap stuck in the hold where the oil goes in.  

there is always the possibility of engine fire.

luckily, the driver is willing to throw himself on the engine should it enflame.  he is loyal even if if a blackmailer.

Then it sounds like there's no downside to that scenario...

it is hard to scrape a slovakian off the top of the engine.

No, you just bury the car with the driver, then buy a new benz...

it is a 1920 classic.  

And your problem? There has to be more than one 1920 classic.

this my mercedes in front of my million dollar home.

take out my driver, get the photos, and you are on the payroll sir.

I think you might have the better bargaining position. You might have to pay up a bit for the benz, but you should be able to get the driver for free.

Wait, is there a chess set in the back seat? We need to mention chess in this thread, otherwise bad things might happen to the thread...

It could be deleted, or even worse, moved to "Off Topic"...

Always wondered what happened to the Hitler youth from Sound of Music that tweets his whistle at people and is 17 going on 18...now we know,