I know, they stole my car.
I HATE PRIME NUMBERS

Deep inside every respectable composite number (who pays his taxes, helps old ladies cross the street, and takes the garbage to the curb before 7 a.m.) lurks one or more primes, straining at their bonds, just waiting to wreak havoc on the real line. And don't even get me started about their dark overlord, Riemann.

They're just doing there job. Where would you be without them.
You NEED them don't you? Yes, you do.
AHH HAA HAA HAA HAA!!! No escape from them EVER!
What about other types of numbers (square, cube, triangular, pentagonal, hexagonal, abundant, deficient, perfect, sublime, pronic, powerful, unusual, weird (no, they're not the same ), superperfect, semiperfect, just to name a few
)?
1 pleads not guilty to the charge of being a prime number. 1 argues that since a prime number is defined under the mathematical criminal code as being divisible by 1 AND itself that 1 is innocent of this charge your honour. 1's attorney beseeches the magistrate to dismiss this baseless charge againt 1. 1 has been victimised also by the community; 1 is called in the street a lonely number and a selfish number. Thus 1 cannot receive a fair trial your honour.
The attorney for 1 would like to show the court a video of some real prime numbers who should be pursued by the court instead of 1:
1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19...
I HATE THEM!!!