I need your help - this is serious

In the passed year, my life has been going downhill. Let me explain.

Throughout the year, I have been working on two major projects with two of my most trusted online friends, blue and lord. Blue, as you all know, is the OtF femboy, while lord is a fellow video game player.

Me and lord have been working on a replica of Hogwarts that has been going great until something happened and he just quit. That was the first of more bad things to come.

Then I started working with blue on the golden void, which was probably the best time of my life. Until he decided to cut me out of it. I’m not blaming him, hes going through his own personal problems right now, but that still kinda stung.

So yeah. Now that those two biggest projects of my life were out of a picture, my days were basically empty with me just being alone. I know yall will say touch some grass, but honestly? I don’t even think my second best friend likes me, my best friend and I have been arguing, and everybody else is just….. idrk how to explain it. Boring, tbh.

I’m trying to make my own project, but nothing is working. I guess my purpose in life is to follow other people, not do my own thing. But nothing ever works out like that. Nothing is ever finished.

So yeah. With nothing to do, I think depression is right around the corner for me. I really don’t know what to do.

part 2 cause I for some reason prefer talking to OTF about my personal problems rather than  to a therapist I don’t have lol

i think I know why my favorite superpower is reading minds.

every single day, if I ever get a compliment or somebody ever says something to me, I don’t know if I can trust them. My mind automatically thinks the worst. 

for example, if somebody says something nice like Great Read to me, my brain just thinks “he’s lying just to cheer you up. Shut up. He don’t mean it.” 

that’s why all my life, I wanted to know what people truly thought about me. So, as a result, I became obsessed with mind reading.

Part three cause I really can’t stop

like is said already, I’ve been trying to start my own big project, but somehow, it doesn’t work. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t focus on it.

Myles is weird: every second it makes me imagine an alternative universe or timeline, where I’ve don’t something different. Where I had superpowers, or became a murderer (yeah that one was unpleasant to think about), or became a billionaire. LITTERALLY 20 percent of my day is spent daydreaming, which is why everybody always says I seem lost in my own mind.

i think the problem is, I spend to much dreaming what what I could become instead of becoming it.

Huh... this is deep. And resonates with my irl experiences, if I'm being honest. I think that the only advice I can give is... to remember, yet to move on. Keep your friends of times past close to your heart, but be open to accepting new ones. Life will change, and the only thing we can do is change with it.

I've made a lot of friends, and I've lost even more. Moving 7 times didn't help, heh... but, if you're looking for something to join, maybe hit me or SirRaven up? We might have something in the works. Maybe. We're expert procrastinators.

My theory is that the state of least effort for humans is apathy, which is one of the prime indicators for depression. Thus, losing 'drive' can cause apathy, which can cause depression. And now, especially in our day and age, when precious things can be taken from us in mere seconds, it's not uncommon to see that drive disappearing.

Bruv, if you want to work on amything I'm down. I direct and animate, so just let me know. Wish you the best bruv.

Try fancade that's what I use but I'm just starting tho it's mobile only tho:(

Depression must be a stereotype immigrant. They see a corner, they set up shop.

Maybe your definition of finish line has to change.

It's the journey not the destination.

Oh who am I kidding ...

Like a lemonade stand?

In the absence of those who make us whole, the rot of apathy takes hold. - NQ8B, now out of creativity for the day after coming up with this.

I would say if Blue cut you out of it, you could ask him why. Some friendships are just meant to broken eventually, so if that's the way a certain friend treats you, you shouldn't count then as a friend. I think, you could, work on something else you like, to get your mind off these type of stuff.

I'm not saying Blue isn't a great friend, I know he's nice and going through stuff too, but maybe you could ask to be included again, and while doing the project share about your problems so you two can help each other

Except lemonade stands have been known to lead to depression