Place on knee.
Repeatedly thump the apple sign with your palm, fingers outstretched. Try a few times.
If it works, great- it has for me in the past. But once my iPad was hit against a metal camp bed, and I tried the thumping, but only a few hours after- it didn't work.
Try that.
My iphone 5 stopped working. I unlock the screen and there's just a blank green screen. The unlock button is the only button that does anything. I hold the home button for a bit, and the screen turns black for a second then back to green. I googled what was wrong with it. It just says 'hold these two buttons for between 10 and 20 seconds to restart your iphone'.
I tried it. It doesn't work. It won't turn off. It won't restart. It won't do anything.
I tried logging in to Apple Forums, but they sent a text to my phone to confirm it's me. I CAN'T SEE THE @#!$ING TEXT BECAUSE MY IPHONE ISN'T WORKING! THAT'S WHY I'M HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE @#!$ING RETARDS!