JOHN BEAR FACTORY DISRUPTS RELIGIOUS CEREMONY IN THE WOODS?!?!

SURE BLAME JOHN BEAR FACTORY BECAUSE HOOMUNS WENT INTO WOODS (CATHOLIC APOSTOLIC CHURCH) AND WITH HOLY WATER AND BIBLE AND MANY KNEES BENT STARTED RELIGIOUS PRAYERS TO THEIR LORD, "BEHOLD US" (THEY SAID) "BEHOLD US YOUR LOYAL FOLLOWERS, OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, FROM WINCE WE COM-"

THEN CRASH!!! SMASH!!!! "THAT'S THAT, THE JOHN BEAR COUNTRY!!!!" I PROCLAIMED VOCIFEROUSLY AS I WENT PLOWING THROUGH THE WOODS AT 100-MILES AN HOUR RIGHT AT THEIR BENDED-KNEE CONGREGATION!! "SMASH THAT'S THE JOHN BEAR COUNTRY!!!" AND I CAME TUMBLING INTO THEM, A 2000-POUND JOHN BEAR!!! SQUISHING A BENDED-KNEED HOOMUN THERE, SQUASHING A BENDED-KNEE HOOMUN OVER HERE

"SMASH JOHN BEAR COUNTRY YOU CROCODILIANS!!"

ONLY AFTER THE FACT THAT JOHN BEAR REALIZED THEY WEREN'T CROCODILIANS AT ALL, BUT WERE A RELIGIOUS SECT SAYING PRAYERS AND HYMNS.

NOW AUTHORITIES ARE LOOKING FOR JOHN BEAR COUNTRY BECAUSE I SQUISHED A FEW HOOMUNS, OK SO WHAT.. JOHN BEAR HAS SQUISHED LOTS OF HOOMUNS AND ONLY HALF THE TIME IT'S JOHN BEAR'S FAULT, BUT SURE!! BLAME JOHN BEAR 100% OF THE TIME!!!

OOHHHH POOR BEAUTIFUL INNOCENT PURE DELICATE JOHN BEAR!!! HOW MY HEART WEEPS IN LEAPS FOR THE JOHN BEAR FACTORY THAT IS JOHN BEAR COUNTRY!!!!!!

Poor innocent John Bear

...

JOHN BEAR LOVES YOU HOOMUN

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