Nice one...atleast better😂
Jokes Eternity
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hey magnetta haven't seen you in any forums recetly
Jun 5, 2019
0
#706
Noivern2007 wrote:
My boss told me to have a good day ....
So I went home...
So I went home...
A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” he says.
“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, walks past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“What the f*** are you doing!” says the husband. “My wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!”
Why don't you make a funny joke?
Jun 6, 2019
0
#709
me? ok....
Which word is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary?
Incorrectly
Jun 6, 2019
0
#710
You are driving in the desert, hungry, thirsty, and hot. Then, you come upon three doors. The first door has food. The second, water. The third, cool shelter. Which door do you open first?
The car door!
Jun 6, 2019
0
#711
Children in Australia- “Mum, can me and my friends please go to the movies at 3?”
“Sure, but text me every 30 minutes so I know you’re Ok.”
Children in Russia- “Mum I’m going to the abandoned scrapyard to hunt homeless people. Can I bring dad’s chainsaw?”
“Sure, but don’t forget that dinner’s at 6.”
Jun 6, 2019
0
#712
how do you drown a blonde?
put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool
put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool
(I’m just going to write the worst jokes I know to piss people off)
Have you heard about the guy who lost the left side of his body? Don’t worry, he’s all right.
My teacher told me I was average. I though she was mean.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Ha! I got post #666 AND #777! Beat that!
Jun 10, 2019
0
#720
An old man goes to confession. He tells the priest that on Friday night, he’d been in the bar when he met a young woman. “Maybe 22,” he says. “A gorgeous blonde. I started lusting, Father.”
“Yes,” says the priest, “Lust is a dangerous sin.”
“There’s more,” says the man. “We went back to her place and made passionate love for hours.”
The priest pauses. “And how long has it been since your last confession?”
“I’ve never come. This is my first.”
“How is this your first confession?”
“I’m Jewish.”
“Then… why are you telling me all this?”
“Telling you? I’m telling everyone!”
yeet